What does love look like?

Charlotte’s carnelian transformed

“What does love look like?  It has the hands to help others.  It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy.  It has eyes to see misery and want.  It has ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men.  That is what love looks like.”- St. Augustine

“May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us- yes, establish the work of our hands.”- Psalm 90:7

An unremarkable ring lay unnoticed among the numerous items in my mother Elinor’s jewelry box.  The ring had a red carnelian mounted on a thin, tarnished band.  My wife Vicki often remarked that the ring looked like a prize from a box of Cracker Jack.

The carnelian had belonged to my maternal grandmother, Charlotte Dahlke.  It was her engagement ring prior to her marriage in 1906.  Although affordable diamond rings started to appear in mail-order catalogs such as Sears & Roebuck in the 1890s, diamonds continued to be viewed as the domain of the aristocracy.

Tradition favored simpler engagement bands- like Grandma Charlotte’s.  Contrary to its appearance, the carnelian had great significance.  Almost ninety years later, a Des Plaines (IL) jeweler transformed Charlotte’s engagement ring into its current setting.

What does love look like?  According to pastor and author Matt Bays (Finding God in the Ruins), people who love truly are great at subtraction:

“I’ve often heard that a burden shared is divided by two.  But there are moments, in the company of those who care, when it feels like a huge minus has replaced the division sign and our burdens aren’t divided at all; they’re being subtracted.  And subtraction is always better than division because when things are subtracted, they disappear altogether.”

As our burdens disappear, space is created in our heart for the Holy Spirit.  Henri Nouwen (The Wounded Healer) notes the Holy Spirit’s heart is greater, His eyes see more, and His hands heal more than our own heart, eyes, and hands.  This enables us to transform, rather than transmit, our pain.

Max Lucado encourages us to share God’s grace with others.  After all, he writes, if grace is compared to a wheat field, the Lord has bequeathed us the state of Kansas!  Accepting God’s grace means you vow to give grace to others.

What does love look like?  What does God see in you?  Max has the answer:

“Marginalized and discarded?  Others may think so.  You may think so.  But God sees in you a masterpiece.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4kTivO3uqI

 

What does love look like?

Rule and reign

“God . . . is growing us up; we too must learn to rule and reign.”- John Eldredge

John Eldredge concludes Chapter 5 of Moving Mountains by reminding us that Jesus, the Lord of angel armies, is now in the throes of bringing His enemies under His feet- along with angelic and human forces.  For example, in 1 Kings 18 God intended to end the drought.  But Elijah played a major role.

Yes, God could take care of any problem in the blink of an eye.  However, as C.S. Lewis explained in his article “The Efficacy of Prayer,” God wants us involved:

“He seems to do nothing of Himself which He can possibly delegate to His creatures.  He commands us to do slowly and blunderingly what He could do perfectly and in the twinkling of an eye.  Creation seems to be delegation through and through.”

John believes such delegation refers to major tasks as well as the authority to get them done.  Since you have been given a share of Jesus Christ’s authority, John inquires, do you wield it in prayer (emphasis mine)?  Can you see how it just might make a difference if you did wield Christ’s authority in prayer?  John offers these words of encouragement:

“You are not an orphaned child, sitting out in the hall hoping your busy Father will see one of the notes you have pushed under his door. . . . You are a son or daughter of the living God, a friend and ally, wielding his authority to get things done.  And by the way- your eternal destiny is to reign.

But God must prepare us to reign by placing us in situations where we learn to pray and use the authority He has given us.

Today’s question: What Scriptures enable you to rule and reign, praying with authority?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: the new Short Meditation, “What does love look like?”

Rule and reign

Our present life

“Our present life feels like a real fight as if there was something pretty wild in the universe which we needed to redeem.”-William James

In Chapter 5 (“Bold Authority”) of Moving Mountains, John Eldredge comments on words that get tacked onto the end of many prayers, yet seem to lack little of their original punch-“In Jesus’ name, Amen.”  Amen, once a declaration, now has the emotional force of ‘talk to you later’ at the end of a phone call.

John emphasizes that “In Jesus’ name” is a far, far more declarative and final command than “Amen.”  By saying “In Jesus’ name,” we are utilizing the ultimate authority of God to enforce the power of our prayers.   The whole spiritual realm, including effective prayer, runs on authority.  The author adds: “It is the secret to the kingdom of God and one of the essential secrets to prayer that works.”

The Lord’s Prayer, held high and repeated ritually, tells us to invoke the kingdom of God.  John asserts that we are partners with Jesus in this mission to invoke God’s kingdom.  The obvious implication, John observes, is that God’s kingdom is not always come and His will is not always done on earth as it is in heaven.  Jesus wouldn’t urge us to pray for something that has no meaning.  Mr. Eldredge summarizes:

“Apparently our biggest need is for his kingdom to invade our lives and our worlds. . . . It make perfect sense for Jesus to teach us to invoke his kingdom in our prayers; it makes all the sense in the world.  And it opens up staggering opportunities for prayer.”

Today’s question: In your present life, what do the words “In Jesus’ name, Amen” mean to you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Rule and reign”

Our present life

I have called you friends

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends, if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”- John 15:13-15

As John Eldredge concludes Chapter 4 of Moving Mountains, he writes that we need to listen to Jesus as He reframes out understanding of prayer.  referencing the father in the Parable of The Two Lost Sons (Luke 15), John asks:

“Do you come to prayer knowing that God is already expecting you, looking for you with longing?”

Being sons or daughters of God comes with privileges (Galatians 4:4-5).  John doubts that any of us have tapped into the full rights of a son or daughter of God.  The author notes that Dallas Willard said we ought to look at our life with God as a partnership in a shared mission.

Mr. Eldredge notes the relationship the disciple Ananias had with Jesus.  Told by the Lord to “go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul,” Ananias was comfortable enough in his relationship with Jesus to voice his extreme discomfort with Jesus’ plan.

While it is human nature to look at the problem or crisis before us, the problem is exactly the thing we should not be looking at.  John observes that C. S. Lewis had only one picture on his bedroom walls- a photo of the image of Jesus’ face from the Shroud of Turin.  Lewis would gaze on the photo as he prayed.

As Pascal once said, “It is the heart which experiences God.”

Today’s question: What helps you fix your eyes on Jesus rather than your problems?  Please share.

Coming Monday: the new Short Meditation, “What does love look like?”

Tomorrow’s blog: “Our present life”

I have called you friends

Thy will be done

“There are two kinds of people; those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your way.’ “- C. S. Lewis

“Even the stork in the heavens know her times, and the turtledove, swallow, and crane keep the time of their coming, but my people know not the rules of the Lord.”- Jeremiah 8:7

The International Crane Foundation in Baraboo, Wisconsin, is a hidden treasure located about ten miles from the water park mecca of Wisconsin Dells.  Founded in 1973 by George Archibald and Ron Suey, the ICF mission combines research, captive breeding and reproduction, landscape restoration, and education to safeguard the world’s 15 crane species.  One of those species, the Siberian crane (aka snow crane), stands 5 feet tall with a wingspan of 83-91 inches.

Siberian cranes have the longest migratory route of any crane species, flying over the mighty Himalayan range from their breeding grounds in eastern and western Russia to their wintering grounds in China and Iran, respectively.  Initial breeding efforts at the ICF were unsuccessful until they replicated the midnight sun of the Arctic tundra.

Thy will be done

The Spirit of sonship

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry,’Abba, Father.’ “- Romans 8:15

John Eldredge continues Chapter 4 of Moving Mountains with the assertion that nothing reveals your true beliefs like how you pray.  John adds that when he listens to people pray, more often than not their prayers sound like an orphan, crying for mercy outside the gates- not the authoritative prayers of God’s children.  He explains.

All of us have heard- and know intellectually- that we are God’s children- His sons and daughters.  But the familiarity of those words has dulled us to the truth they contain.  The reality of those words has not penetrated our hearts deeply enough.  As a result, we pray like orphans ourselves.

Orphans feel desperate.  They are not reluctant to pray.  Orphans feel there is a great chasm between themselves and God.  The concept of abundance is foreign to them.  Orphans pray with a poverty mentality.  Because orphans expect scraps, they pray for scraps.  Not anticipating two-way intimacy, orphans and slaves make prayer speeches.  When we pray, John writes, we need to keep clear who we are:

“Just as we have to be careful to keep in mind exactly who it is we are praying to, what our images of God actually are, it is equally important to keep clear who we are in this process.  Who are you to God?  What is your relationship to the One to whom you pray?  How do you conceive of it? . . . What is your heart’s settled assurance on the matter?”

Today’s question: How would you answer John’s questions?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “I have called you friends”

The Spirit of sonship

Effective prayer

“Effective prayer is far more a partnership with God than it is begging him to do something.”- John Eldredge

“Taking five loaves and two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves (emphasis added).”- Mark 6:41

“So they took away the stone [from Lazarus’ tomb].  Then Jesus looked up and said . . .”- John 11:41 (emphasis added)

John Eldredge  begins Chapter 4 (Who He Is and Who We Are”) of Moving Mountains by admitting that as he fights through the trials and tribulations of live, normally his eyes aren’t fixed on Jesus.  For us, too, our eyes tend to be fixed on the crises before us.  These crises have a way of arresting our attention.

When Jesus fed the five thousand and came to the tomb of Lazarus, John notes, He was not looking up to heaven like a man trying to recall something he’d just forgotten.  Jesus looked up to heaven in order to fix His attention on the loving face of His Father.

Christians are well aware that faith plays a critical role in effective prayer.  In fact, the author asserts, faith may play the critical role.  But we are not capable of generating faith or feelings of faith.  As John states, we must “look from the debris to God.”

In order to engage in effective prayer, we must be crystal clear about who we are and Who we are praying to- or with.

Today’s question: What Scriptures help you fix your eyes on Jesus so you can engage in effective prayer?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The Spirit of sonship”

 

Effective prayer

The Cry of the Heart

“Some prayers just happen; they are ‘the Cry of the Heart.’  No training is needed when it comes to this type of prayer.”- John Eldredge

In Chapter 3 (“The Cry of the Heart”) of Moving Mountains, John Eldredge tells of the time he and a buddy were on their way home from a fishing trip when they encountered hail on the highway.  Their van spun over those icy marbles, veered into oncoming traffic, and finally came to rest upside down in an irrigation ditch.  Shortly before the flip, John prayed the only thing he knew how to pray in that situation: Jesus!  John explains:

“”The Cry of the Heart just comes if you let it. . . . I think it will just flow for you, too, if you give it permission.  Turn the editor off; let your heart and soul speak.”

Mr. Eldredge adds that the Cry of the Heart is more than cries of heartache, sorrow, or distress.  Joyful spontaneity and triumph also are important aspects of this type of prayer.  You don’t have to arrange for, practice, or even learn the Cry of the Heart.  No religious language is required.

John does offer a word of caution:

“Be careful that your heart cries do not subtly turn into agreements with despair or forsakenness.  Do not let ‘Father- I feel abandoned!’ turn into an agreement with ‘I am abandoned.’. . . it is too easy to land in a place of heartache and call it authenticity.”

The way to escape the shipwreck of the soul is to turn your gaze to God.

Today’s question: How have you kept your heart-cries from turning into agreements with despair or forsakenness?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Effective prayer”

The Cry of the Heart

The story you find yourself in

“Look- you may not like the story you find yourself in, but your displeasure doesn’t make it go away.”- John Eldredge

John Eldredge concludes Chapter 2 of Moving Mountains with his discussion of the second (of two) assumptions essential to prayer.

2.  We are at war.  John notes that King Herod’s “massacre of the innocents” (Matthew 2:16-18) is not portrayed in any Christmas pageant or manger scene.  While the lovely imagery surrounding Christmastime is dear to many of us, Mr. Eldredge points out that such imagery is profoundly deceiving.  The warm feelings, associations, and expectations of what the nature of the Christian life is going to be like as created by this perspective are, in fact, dangerous.  Our viewpoint is incomplete.

When Daniel was in Babylon and received a revelation concerning a great war, he devoted himself to prayer and fasting for three weeks.  Although God answered Daniel’s prayer the first day he prayed, the answer was delayed because a mighty, fallen angel blocked the way.  God’s angel had to fight his way in as well as his way out.  John explains how the Scriptures are a wake-up call:

“The Scriptures are a sort of wake-up call to the human race, a trumpet blast . . . One alarm they repeatedly sound is that we are all caught up in the midst of a collision of kingdoms- the kingdom of God advancing with force against the kingdom of darkness, which for the moment holds most of the world in its clutches.”

This should motivate us to learn to pray like a soldier learns to use his weapon for battle or how a smoke jumper learns survival skills.  Until we learn to pray, we’ll have no idea what sort of breakthrough actually is possible.

Today’s question: Which of John’s two assumptions essential to prayer resonate most with you?  Please share.

New addition to Crown Jewels: “The whisper test”

Tomorrow’s blog: “The Cry of the Heart”

 

The story you find yourself in

We are all underway

“We are all underway and we are not all in the same place.”- John Eldredge

“Until we reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”- Ephesians 4:13

In Chapter 2 (“Third Graders at Normandy”) of Moving Mountains, John Eldredge discusses the first of two assumptions essential to prayer:

1.  God is growing us all up.  John states that “we are at different stages of maturing”- we are all underway.  Mr. Eldredge adds that realization is very gracious, realistic, and quite helpful to understanding your own life as well as the lives of others around you.

God understands where you are and is absolutely committed to your growing up.  As John explains, God has a fervent passion for our maturity:

“God . . . is utterly delighted with our attempts at prayer; he loves our little prayers tucked into drawers (aka God’s In-Box).  And, he is calling us upward to grow into the maturity we were destined for, including mature prayers.”

But there is one problem, as John points out.  Most of us don’t share God’s fervent passion that we mature.  Our default settings take up residence in other things- the big game, our general comfort (which includes getting others to cooperate with our agenda).

John describes the means God provides for growing us up:

“Situations that stretch us, strain us, push us beyond what we thought we could endure- those very same circumstances that cause us to pray.  This assumption is important for one simple reason: it changes your expectations.”

We are all underway.  We are being called up.

Today’s question: At what stage of maturing are you when it comes to prayer?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The story you find yourself in”

 

 

We are all underway

Things can be different

“There is nothing more hopeful than the thought that things can be different, we can move mountains, and have some role in bringing that change about.”- John Eldredge

“After a long time, the word of the LORD came to Elijah: ‘Go and present yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain on the land.”- 1 Kings 18:1

As John Eldredge concludes Chapter 1 of Moving Mountains, he states that God, in His sovereignty, “created a world in which the choices of men and angels matter.”  Pascal referred to this as “the dignity of causation.”  Our choices have significant consequences.

Mr. Eldredge references the biblical account of Elijah, Ahab, and the prophets of Baal (1 KIngs18).  Following the defeat of the prophets of Baal, Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel and prayer for rain- eight rounds worth of prayer.  Although it is certain that God will come through, God insists on Elijah’s participation.  As Augustine once wrote, “Without God, we cannot, and without us, He will not.”

John points out that James, the brother of Jesus, makes a staggering connection in James Chapter 5- you are no different than Elijah:

“That was his [James’] purpose in using the phrase, ‘Elijah was a man just like us.’  James was trying to disarm that religious posture that often poisons the value of biblical stories: Well sure, that was so-and-so [in this case Elijah], and they were different than us.  Nope.  Not the case.  Actually, James makes it very clear: Elijah was a human being just like you.  In other words, you can do it too (emphasis John’s).”

Today’s question: How can prayer help you sustain the thought that things can be different?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “We are all underway”

 

Things can be different

The elephant in the room

“Let’s go ahead and name the elephant in the room- some prayers work, and some prayers don’t.”- John Eldredge

Moving Mountains: Praying with Passion, Confidence, and Authority is the latest book from author John Eldredge.  John’s previous books are Wild at Heart, Fathered by God, and Beautiful Outlaw.

In Chapter 1 (“Prayer That Works”) of Moving Mountains, Mr. Eldredge states that each of us has our own story of “prayers answered, prayers unanswered, and silence [we] can’t quite make sense of.”  Yet, when it comes to life-including prayer, there is a way things work (emphasis John’s).  Unfortunately, there is something adolescent in human nature that resists submitting to the realities of the world around us and within us.

Thus, John writes, we want prayer to be simple and easy.  We ask for God’s help the best we can- the rest is up to Him.  The problem arises when God doesn’t come through and we have no clue why.  Losing heart and abandoning prayer may follow.  With this very naïve view of prayer, we feel hurt and justified in giving up.  Mr. Eldredge explains the consequences of this viewpoint:

“We abandon the very treasure God has given us for not losing heart, for moving the ‘mountains’ in front of us, bringing about the changes we so desperately want to see in our world.”

There is a terrible dilemma for us when it comes to prayer.  It is in our nature to pray.  We desperately want to have faith that God will come through for us.  When He doesn’t seem to come through for us, where does that leave us?  John emphasizes:

“I believe God is in the dilemma; I believe he wants us to push through to real answers, solid answers.”

Today’s question: What Scriptures speak to your dilemma when it comes to prayer- the elephant in the room?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Things can be different”

The elephant in the room

The quiet hum

“And with all the traffic raging around you, I pray that you will hear only the quiet hum.”- Matt Bays

Chapter 17 (“The Quiet Hum- My Life for the Glory of God”) is the concluding chapter of Finding God in the Ruins.  Matt Bays asserts that at times it is appropriate- and even right- to doubt God’s existence or involvement in our lives.  Blindly ignoring the effect of painful events on our faith does not make us more faithful, Pastor Bays notes.

If our faith is ever going to mature from adolescence to adulthood, doubt is a necessary part of our journey.  Matt states that “when we  . . . embrace our doubt, we are often propelled forward, closer to God than we ever though possible.”

Shelving the trials we have faced does not allow God to use them for the good of others.  By denying others access to our stories, we are living out the bystander effect- minimizing our involvement.  We fail to acknowledge how our pain could set someone else free. By listening to God’s quiet hum, we can assume the burden of responsibility.  Matt offers these encouraging words:

“Because of your strength to step up to the plate, because of your courage to stand alone and honor the pain, because of your willingness to carry the burden of responsibility, the chances that others will be rescued has just increased dramatically.”

Today’s question (from Matt): Take a moment to think about whether God’s love has become greater than your pain, despair, or unanswered prayer.  Is what you’ve been through worth what you’ve gained as a result?  Would you say you pain has been redeemed, or is still in the process of being redeemed?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: the Annotated Bibliography of Finding God in the Ruins

 

The quiet hum

More than answers

“We need more than answers.  We need the love of God, no matter how awkward or fumbly.”- Matt Bays

“I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”- Isaiah 43:1 (ESV)

In Chapter 16 (“Melody Unchained- Finding Your Faith Again”) of Finding God in the Ruins, Matt Bays observes the hard truth is that God has  always has allowed for our pain.  That we don’t know why is harder still.

When we are in the middle of our pain, the answers won’t matter anyway.  We need something more- God’s love, affirming a Presence greater than ourselves.  God, the master conductor and composer, shapes each note in the space between our trials and triumphs.  Pastor Bays encourages:

“God knows your name.  And in the immense pain, he whispers it under his breath, sending it out as a love song- a melody of grace notes that in time will balance ever dissonant chord of your life.”

Trouble always will be with us.  When we come to the end of ourselves, we are ready for Someone greater.  Pastor Bays reflects on passing through darkness:

“Passing through darkness will always be a part of life because trouble will always be with us.  But as I strain my eyes amidst the shifting shadows, I find Jesus in silhouette.  Every detail of his face is not recognizable, but his form is unmistakable.”

Today’s question (from Matt): If there were a song that identified the essence of who you are, what would that song be?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The quiet hum”

More than answers

Rainbow days

“On rainbow days God’s presence is hard to miss.”- John Ortberg

God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come.  I have set my rainbow in the clouds . . .”- Genesis 9:12-13

“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down.  Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.”-G. K. Chesterton

As a child of the Great Depression whose rare experiences with air conditioning only occurred on movie theater visits, Dad held out on getting a room air conditioner for our home until I was sixteen.  For a refreshing treat on sultry summer evenings, we’d make the six-block drive to Original Rainbow Cone at 9233 South Western Avenue .

Founded in 1926 by Joseph and Katherine Sapp, Original Rainbow Cone recently opened for its 90th year on March 4, 2016.  Back in 1926, however, the nearest homes were about 5 1/2 miles north- at Pershing Road, the southern boundary of Chicago’s Bridgeport neighborhood.  Joseph envisioned the day when Western Avenue would become a major thoroughfare.   Sunday traffic already was heavy as Chicagoans traveled to cemeteries south of 95th Street.

An original rainbow cone was a tasty treat, well worth the potential one-hour wait.  John Ortberg (God is Closer Than You Think) describes the spiritual component of rainbow days:

“On rainbow days you find yourself wanting to pray, believing that God hears, open to receiving and acting on his response.  On rainbow days God seems to speak personally to you through Scripture . . . and each good thing you see fills you with gratitude toward the God who made it.”

Not all days can be rainbow days.  How are we to respond during desert, transition times when God seems elusive?  Pastor Ortberg suggests that God wants us to learn to see him in the ordinary rather than limiting ourselves to dependence on the extraordinary.  The narrator in the novel Prince of Tides discusses a character who has the gift of seeing God in the ordinary:

“I would like to have walked in his world, thanking God for oysters and porpoises, praising God for birdsong and sheet lightning, seeing God reflected in pools of creekwater and the eyes of stray cats. . . . I would like to have seen the whole world with eyes incapable of anything but wonder, and with a tongue fluent in praise.”

It is a very helpful thing to “review the dailies” with God- finding things to thank God for in each scene of your day.  When that happens, John notes, “we find that  ordinary days had little rainbow moments in them.”

 

 

Rainbow days

Our healing gift

“In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift.  If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.”- Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child

Matt Bays concludes Chapter 13 of Finding God in the Ruins by telling the story of Christian singer and songwriter Matt Redman.  One of Matt Redman’s songs, “Blessed Be Your Name”, reflects the ebb and flow of joy and pain in his life.  Matt Redman’s wife has suffered four miscarriages.  His father took his own life when Matt was a young child.  At the age of seven, Matt was abused by a sexual predator.

Pastor Bays states that when Matt Redman told his story at a concert he attended, at that moment heaven flooded the concert hall with light.  There almost was no place to hide.  Pastor Bays summarizes:

“Matt Redman told . . . us that we were not alone.  His story did a swan dive right into our hearts and promised us hope.  He had shown us what it looked like to tell the whole truth.”

When you cover a wound with a bandage for too long, the wound doesn’t get better.  Matt Bays compares that to our soul wounds:

“The wounds on our souls also need air.  Vulnerability, saying what happened, means ripping the bandage off so our stories can breathe.”

You might feel that revisiting your past will break you.  As Matt encourages, perhaps revisiting your past will make you instead.

Today’s question: What do you believe to be your healing gift?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: the new Short Meditation, “Rainbow Days”

Our healing gift

Your litmus test

“And if you doubt what happened, wondering if it really mattered, let the pain be your litmus test.  Where pain is present, a wound exists.”- Matt Bays

In Chapter 13 (“Someone Else’s Story- Telling Your Story”) of Finding God in the Ruins, Matt Bays asserts that telling the truth is not easy.  It’s not because we are liars, but because it is easier to tell a version of the truth.  However, the truth never is inappropriate.

Some things in life fall away from us and never are heard from again- until an old picture in a photo album reminds us that it happened.  Such is not the case with painful memories like a ministry downsizing or vocation loss, as Pastor Bays describes:

“Those cruelties aren’t stuck into old photo albums for us to thumb through.  Instead they are emblazoned on the walls of our hearts like stubborn wallpaper that won’t budge.”

Expect painful passages to come when you tell the truth- the whole truth.  If the pain becomes overwhelming, take a break from your story.  When you are good and ready, return to it, as Matt encourages: ” . . . plan to finish the book, because there’s a beautiful ending to it.”

We authenticate who we really are by telling our stories.  Telling the truth isn’t nearly as painful as holding it in.  As writer Anne Lamott says:

“You own everything that happened to you.  Tell your stories . . . If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”

Today’s question: Using pain as your litmus test, how have you neglected to care for your internal wounds?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Our healing gift”

Your litmus test

The person you were meant to be

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.”- Heath L. Buckmaster, Box of Hair

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are- no more, no less.  That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”- Matthew 5:5 (The Message)

Matt Bays begins Chapter 12 (“Default Settings- Accepting Who You Are”) of Finding God in the Ruins with the assertion that our genetic makeup- our character traits- can be only slightly modified.  Maybe our hardwiring does not need to be tempered with- that we are what we are for a reason.

Pastor Bays adds that change most definitely is a good thing.  But checking everything on our “alternate settings” list can give us the kind of false hope that can be destructive.  Matt believes the recurring twinge within us of past damage can become manageable.  However, the deeper ache in our spirits won’t ever be completely torn out by the roots- and maybe that is okay.

Acknowledging the truth actually can set you free.  You always will be you.  This sometimes painful truth can be liberating, because you can finally stop chasing after  the person you will never be.  In order to move forward in this life or even  survive, we must accept that “who we are at the core is exactly who we were always meant to be.”  Thomas Merton believed the ordinary would find freedom- the ordinary would inherit the earth.  As The Message paraphrases Matthew 5:5- “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are- no more, no less.”

Today’s question: Are you content with who you are- the person you were meant to be- at this present moment?  Please share.

Coming Monday: the new Short Meditation, “Rainbow Days”

Tomorrow’s blog: “Your litmus test”

The person you were meant to be

The untold story

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”- Maya Angelou

“I decided to devote my life to telling the story because I felt that having survived I owe something to the dead. . . . And anyone who does not remember betrays them again.”- Elie Wiesel, political activist and concentration camp survivor

In Chapter 11 (“The Untold Story- I Used to be Matt Petrino: The Power of God in Your Story”) of Finding God in the Ruins, Matt Bays underscores the truth that eventually our untold stories begin telling our deepest secrets- without our permission.  As our untold stories begin revealing one broken chapter after another, the life we’ve always wanted becomes threatened by the life we’ve always feared.

Yet God uses what is available at the time to let you know that (1) your life has value and (2) you can instill that same sense of worth into other broken people God brings into your life.

When Matt was eighteen years old, he petitioned the court to legally change his last name from Petrino back to Bays.  Matt reasoned that getting a new name would give him a new life.  But this outward change did not change who Matt was on the inside.  However, because Matt Petrino was a survivor, Matt Bays could tell his story.  Likewise, Pastor Bays encourages us not to forget all we have overcome:

“It’s easy to ignore our stories or disregard their power to call the hurting, wounded, and abused out of their hiding places.  Looking back can be painful, especially if it feels as though you’ve read the broken passages too many times already.  But if you continue turning the pages and inviting others to read along, you will find the grace of God beautifully on display in your storytold.”

Today’s question: What untold story of yours can beautifully display the grace of God?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The person you were meant to be”

The untold story