More than answers

“We need more than answers.  We need the love of God, no matter how awkward or fumbly.”- Matt Bays

“I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”- Isaiah 43:1 (ESV)

In Chapter 16 (“Melody Unchained- Finding Your Faith Again”) of Finding God in the Ruins, Matt Bays observes the hard truth is that God has  always has allowed for our pain.  That we don’t know why is harder still.

When we are in the middle of our pain, the answers won’t matter anyway.  We need something more- God’s love, affirming a Presence greater than ourselves.  God, the master conductor and composer, shapes each note in the space between our trials and triumphs.  Pastor Bays encourages:

“God knows your name.  And in the immense pain, he whispers it under his breath, sending it out as a love song- a melody of grace notes that in time will balance ever dissonant chord of your life.”

Trouble always will be with us.  When we come to the end of ourselves, we are ready for Someone greater.  Pastor Bays reflects on passing through darkness:

“Passing through darkness will always be a part of life because trouble will always be with us.  But as I strain my eyes amidst the shifting shadows, I find Jesus in silhouette.  Every detail of his face is not recognizable, but his form is unmistakable.”

Today’s question (from Matt): If there were a song that identified the essence of who you are, what would that song be?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The quiet hum”

More than answers

Your litmus test

“And if you doubt what happened, wondering if it really mattered, let the pain be your litmus test.  Where pain is present, a wound exists.”- Matt Bays

In Chapter 13 (“Someone Else’s Story- Telling Your Story”) of Finding God in the Ruins, Matt Bays asserts that telling the truth is not easy.  It’s not because we are liars, but because it is easier to tell a version of the truth.  However, the truth never is inappropriate.

Some things in life fall away from us and never are heard from again- until an old picture in a photo album reminds us that it happened.  Such is not the case with painful memories like a ministry downsizing or vocation loss, as Pastor Bays describes:

“Those cruelties aren’t stuck into old photo albums for us to thumb through.  Instead they are emblazoned on the walls of our hearts like stubborn wallpaper that won’t budge.”

Expect painful passages to come when you tell the truth- the whole truth.  If the pain becomes overwhelming, take a break from your story.  When you are good and ready, return to it, as Matt encourages: ” . . . plan to finish the book, because there’s a beautiful ending to it.”

We authenticate who we really are by telling our stories.  Telling the truth isn’t nearly as painful as holding it in.  As writer Anne Lamott says:

“You own everything that happened to you.  Tell your stories . . . If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”

Today’s question: Using pain as your litmus test, how have you neglected to care for your internal wounds?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Our healing gift”

Your litmus test

The person you were meant to be

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.”- Heath L. Buckmaster, Box of Hair

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are- no more, no less.  That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”- Matthew 5:5 (The Message)

Matt Bays begins Chapter 12 (“Default Settings- Accepting Who You Are”) of Finding God in the Ruins with the assertion that our genetic makeup- our character traits- can be only slightly modified.  Maybe our hardwiring does not need to be tempered with- that we are what we are for a reason.

Pastor Bays adds that change most definitely is a good thing.  But checking everything on our “alternate settings” list can give us the kind of false hope that can be destructive.  Matt believes the recurring twinge within us of past damage can become manageable.  However, the deeper ache in our spirits won’t ever be completely torn out by the roots- and maybe that is okay.

Acknowledging the truth actually can set you free.  You always will be you.  This sometimes painful truth can be liberating, because you can finally stop chasing after  the person you will never be.  In order to move forward in this life or even  survive, we must accept that “who we are at the core is exactly who we were always meant to be.”  Thomas Merton believed the ordinary would find freedom- the ordinary would inherit the earth.  As The Message paraphrases Matthew 5:5- “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are- no more, no less.”

Today’s question: Are you content with who you are- the person you were meant to be- at this present moment?  Please share.

Coming Monday: the new Short Meditation, “Rainbow Days”

Tomorrow’s blog: “Your litmus test”

The person you were meant to be

Worthless idols

“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”- Jonah 2:8

In Chapter 4 (“The Age of Reckoning- Symptoms of a Deeper Problem”) of Finding God in the Ruins, Matt Bays notes that one phrase from Jonah 2:8 really impacts him- could be.  Pastor Bays interprets the phrase to mean that something is expected of us.  It’s asking for our help.

Eliminating worthless idols (in Matt’s case, alcoholism) requires discipline.  Matt describes the importance of discipline:

“Not many of us love the word discipline, but it is a critical prerequisite to our journey inward.  Discipline  expects something out of us we are not always sure we have to give. . . . If you did, discipline would not be knocking on your door.  It’s there to pinpoint what you’re lacking and then find a way, whatever it takes, to get that lacking thing inside you.”

Pastor Bays observes that when the foundational who we are is wrecked and we can’t seem to shake it off so we can get to what life could be, the temptation is to resign ourselves to that broken reality.  Fear keeps us from committing to true and lasting change.  We are afraid being pushed into alignment will be difficult.

In fact, a painful breaking must occur.  And our lack of knowing how to change is not a free pass to remain the same.  Susan Howard points out that internally we always will know the truth:

“We can never entirely silence the inner voice that always tells us the truth.  We may not like the sound of the truth, . . . but when we pay attention to it, it lead us toward wisdom, health, and clarity.  That voice is the guardian of our integrity.”

Today’s question (from Matt): What is the “worthless idol” you use to avoid real life?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “A theology of no more pain”

Worthless idols

Your most powerful weapon

“Truth is your most powerful weapon.  Pick it up and use it.”- June Hunt

June Hunt concludes Chapter 12 of How to Forgive by discussing the final three letters of her acrostic (F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N) for dealing positively and effectively with guilt.

Verify truth when Satan accuses.  Ms. Hunt states you can count on Satan accusing you.  Accusation is Satan’s favorite weapon.  You must counter Satan by taking hold of truth.  Just as Jesus (in the desert) responded to Satan with the Word of God, you must respond with God’s Word whenever you are tempted to believe God’s forgiveness doesn’t apply to you.

Exchange your life for the life of Christ.  We need to accept the truth that none of us have the strength to live the Christian life without Christ living in us (Galatians 2:20).  June notes that your part is “to let go of your life in exchange for living in the power of His.”

Notice that God brings your feelings in line with the facts when you obey Him.  June describes how perseverance pays off:

“Perseverance in spite of what you feel pays off.  Forgiving others and forgiving yourself- even when you don’t feel like it- guarantees freedom.”

June informs us that the opal is prized for its array of colors inside a single stone.  Yet, an opal is fragile.  It easily can dry out and crack.  Overall, an opal is considered weak.

Ms. Hunt observes that you feel fundamentally weak when you compromise your convictions.  You may feel unworthy of love or unfit to embrace God’s grace.  June explains how light shines brighter in darkness:

“As any jeweler knows, the opal[s beauty is best displayed when placed on a dark background.  When you release your painful rocks to the Master Polisher, a black background will make you shine even brighter.”

Today’s question: Which letters of Ms. Hunt’s acrostic struck a chord with you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Three inner needs”

Your most powerful weapon

Poisonous rocks of resentment

“There is a remedy for the poisonous rocks of resentment in our lives.  This healing remedy involves the four stages of forgiveness- stages that banish bitterness- with all its toxic effects- once and for all.”- June Hunt

As June Hunt continues Chapter 8 of How to Forgive, she states that cobalt can become a lustrous hard metal with many applications.  However, its most beautiful application is the pigment cobalt blue- used for coloring enamel, glass, tile, and porcelain.  A small amount of cobalt is part of Vitamin B12.  But too much in your system is toxic to the lungs and heart.

Ms. Hunt explains that unforgiveness, like cobalt, can be just as emotionally and spiritually fatal:

“Rather than allowing the venom of vindictiveness to harm you, you can allow the Master Physician to bring a healing you could never imagine . . . and a hope you couldn’t have on your own.  When you give your poisonous rocks to Him, He will heal you with His extraordinary love.  He will free you to have His extraordinary forgiveness, and your toxic unforgiveness will be gone.”

The new freedom you gain is the greatest payoff to working through the four stages of forgiveness.  June begins with the first stage.

Stage One: Face the Offense.  June explains why this first step- accurately seeing the offense for what it is- is the hardest:

“Before extending complete forgiveness, you must acknowledge the gravity of the offense and the magnitude of the problem- plus the pain it created.  You have to face the truth and sift through all the resulting heartaches.”  June continues. “Rarely is the full impact of mistreatment felt at the moment it occurs.  Rather, its aftermath is experienced at different levels over a period of time.”

Ms. Hunt adds that forgiveness must be extended at those different levels of impact.  The offense must not be rationalized, minimized, or excused.

Today’s question: Have you rationalized, minimized, or excused the conduct of those responsible for your ministry downsizing or vocation loss?  Please share.

Coming Monday: the new Short Meditation, “Thanks be to God”

Tomorrow’s blog: “To err is human”

 

 

Poisonous rocks of resentment

Master of your mind

“Our understanding of forgiveness must begin with this truth: By God’s design, you are the master of your mind.”- June Hunt

“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”- 2 Corinthians 10:5

In Chapter 7 (“Cutting the Bottom Out of the Bag- Resentful Thoughts Released, Not Rehearsed”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt notes that we all start at the same place on the road to forgiveness: in heavy pain (emphasis author’s ).  Ms. Hunt adds that “we all think the journey is too long, up a mountain too high, with a backpack too big.”

But we don’t face the task of forgiveness alone.  God doesn’t demand we forgive and then leave us struggling to find the strength to do so.  June reminds us that forgiveness isn’t a feeling.  Forgiveness is a purposeful choice.  To release our resentment against our offenders, we have to change how we think.

This is not an easy task.  How we think about forgiveness is deeply ingrained within us, as June describes:

“Our thoughts are like covered wagons that have traveled the same road over and over across the prairie of our minds, leaving deep ruts .  Changing course is hard and it takes deliberate efforts and repetition to make it happen.”

June observes that our thoughts can be constructive or destructive.  Perhaps the most ironic thought, however, is that we have no control over our thoughts.  The apostle Paul encourages us to “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.”  As Ms. Hunt emphasizes, you are in charge of what you think.  Indeed, “you are the master of your mind.”

Today’s question: What has helped you affirm that you are the master of your mind?  Please share.

tomorrow’s blog: “Gravitating to negativity”

Master of your mind

Speak words of truth

Bill Hybels concludes his discussion of four steps that help us partner with God to conquer fear.

STEP 4: Speak Words of Truth.  Pastor Hybels emphasizes that the truth wins, every time.  Therefore, it is critical that we speak truthfully when fear threatens to take control of our minds and emotions.  The author notes that there are three types of truthful words we can speak to counter our fears and establish God’s peace:

a.  Self-talk.  Pastor Hybels references the Mennen aftershave commercials of the 1970s, in which a man would slap himself in the face and proclaim, “Thanks, I needed that!”  When fear overwhelms us, perhaps it would be helpful to give ourselves a mental slap in the face.  Bill encourages:

“Stop believing that you can’t push back panicky feelings with the power of Christ and the power of truthful words, because you can.”

b.  Scripture.  When we face our fears, God does His part.  His presence is tangible.  The Bible is filled with words of truth to keep our fears from controlling us.  Speaking Scripture truthfully is a skill that grows stronger with practice, eventually becoming second nature. It’s powerful weapon in our arsenal against fear.

c.  Prayer.  Pastor Hybels believes that sometimes we pray “nonspecific, if-it-be your will types of prayers, rather than simply telling God exactly what we want Him to do.”  Whatever the outcome, we have the assurance God is with us and can expect His peace to follow.

Today’s question: What Bible verse most clearly speaks God’s words of truth to you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Stupid rubs off”

Speak words of truth

The truth is your friend

Bill Hybels continues Chapter 4 of Simplify by stating he finds it helpful to filter your former job- or any revitalized and revisioned vocation you’re seeking in the future- through four foundational alignments: passion, culture, challenge, and compensation.  The first two alignments will be discussed today.

1.  Passion.  God wired each of us with a passion for something.  Getting the passion alignment right plays a vital role in job satisfaction.  Pastor Hybels believes the best book written on the subject is Letting Your Life Speak by Parker J. Palmer.

2.  Culture.  The author asserts if the culture alignment is off-kilter, satisfaction and fulfillment will be drained from your job.  It is essential to consider the following:

a.  Ask the right question.  Is this a place where you could thrive?

b.  The truth is your friend.  The Best Christian Workplaces Institute describes four levels of staff culture: Toxic (alarm bells should be sounding); Critical Moment (teams are moving toward either toxic or flourishing); Healthy (things look good, but not great); and Flourishing (running on all cylinders).  Facing the truth may be painful, but it will benefit you in the long run.

c.  Culture builder or culture buster?  In your daily actions, are you a blessing or a burden?  Whether your work environment is healthy or dysfunctional, you can be a blessing to everyone who crosses your path.  No one can ruin your attitude unless you give them permission to do so.

Today’s question: How does accepting that the truth is your friend position you to revitalize and revision your vocation?  Please share.

New addition to the Crown Jewels: “Approval addiction”

Tomorrow’s blog: “Appropriately challenged- plus”

The truth is your friend

Our response to God

“For I know that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.”- Jonah 4:2

John Ortberg concludes Chapter 8 of All the Places to Go by noting something about Jonah’s prayer (Jonah 4) that would have been very apparent to its Old Testament readers.  In Jonah 4:2, Jonah is quoting Exodus 34:6, where God speaks to Moses on Mt. Sinai.  In Pastor Ortberg’s translation of the verse, he states that Jonah leaves out the word truth (of God’s faithfulness and forgiveness).

By doing so, John asserts, Jonah is impugning God’s character- in effect saying that God is unreliable.  Pastor Ortberg adds: “I will never trust God to go through open doors if I think he is unfaithful.”  God responds to Jonah’s displeasure and anger by asking Jonah if his anger is justified.  Jonah gives God the silent treatment and again runs away to the east of Nineveh- waiting for God to blast the city.

God then proceeds to provide shade to Jonah in the form of a plant, meaning that Jonah was under God’s protection.  Literally, the text says the shade was to deliver Jonah from evil.  The Lord wants Jonah to see that all people matter to Him, but the story of Jonah ends with him sitting there, his anger unresolved- very similar to the Parable of the Two Sons.

John points out that the problem isn’t that the author can’t think up an ending.  Jonah’s story really is about us and our response to God.  John concludes:

There’s a door out there right now with your name on it.  Right now.  It’s open.  What will you do?”

Today’s question: What has been your response to God when an open door is right in front of you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Closed doors”

Our response to God

Face the truth

Today John Ortberg discusses the first two ways recognizing and going through open doors reveals and requires us to face the truth about ourselves (Chapter 7, All the Places to Go).

1.  What are my strengths and weaknesses?  We have to have some sense of our strengths, weaknesses, and interests if we’re going to understand which doors God is likely to set before us.  Marcus Buckingham, however, points out that our strengths aren’t simply what we’re good at and that our weaknesses aren’t simply what we’re bad at.  Marcus defines a weakness as something that drains you of energy and “something you’ve been blessed with  lots of ability to do well but cursed with no appetite for it.”

John concludes that it’s  better to acknowledge walking through a wrong door than spend the rest of your life in the wrong room.

2.  What is driving me?  We must come face-to-face with the truth about our motivations and ambitions.  Yet, Pastor Ortberg notes, if we wait to walk through a door until our motives are pure, we’ll never go through any doors. Our drive to go through God’s open doors reveals to us a mixture of desire to serve the Lord and a desire to feed our own ego.  John writes about the necessity of confronting the truth:

“The truth about me is I don’t even want to know the truth about me.  The truth about me is only God knows the truth about me.  The truth about the truth is if I face the truth about me with Jesus, the truth will hurt me.  In fact, it will kill me.  But then, it will bring me life.”

Today’s question: How does Marcus Buckingham’s clarification of strengths and weaknesses help you revision your calling?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: the new Short Meditation, “Till the sky spills over”

Face the truth

The truth about you

“The truth about you is you don’t know the truth about you.”- John Ortberg

In Chapter 7 (“What Open Doors will Teach You”) of All the Places to Go, John Ortberg writes that all of us suffer from a kind of personal blind spot.  The difficulty is that when someone has a problem, the last person to know is . . . the person who has the problem.

Not only do we have no knowledge of the truth about ourselves, we don’t even know what that truth about us is, as Fyodor Dostoyevsky observes in Notes from Underground:

“”Every man has reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends.  He has other matters in his mind which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself, and that in secret.  But there are other things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.”

The key to the offer of an open door is self-awareness.  We need to be aware not only of what is going on outside but also what is going on inside us.  Self-awareness is the polar opposite of self-preoccupation.

We have to accept the truth about ourselves in order to go through an open door, relying on God’s strength- not ours.  In the rest of Chapter 7 John explores four ways going through open doors reveals as well as requires us to face the truth about ourselves.

Today’s question: What Bible verses have enabled you to face the truth about you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Face the truth”

The truth about you

Truths about myself

“When I walk through an open door, I often learn truths about myself that I would never have learned if I’d stayed on the other side.”- John Ortberg

As John Ortberg continues Chapter 2 of All the Places to Go, he observes that when we go through open doors, we have to trust that God will use us in spite of our imperfections.  The process provides a unique avenue for learning about ourselves, warts and all.  Pastor Ortberg adds that, when we go through open doors: (a) we’ll discover our faith really is weaker than we thought it was before we went through the door; and (b) we must be humble enough to accept failure.

The Israelites were a classic example of this when the escaped from slavery in Egypt.  When Moses and Aaron gathered the Israelite slaves to deliver God’s message and show them the miraculous signs, they voiced their belief.  But when they saw Pharaoh coming after them, they changed their tune.  John summarizes: “When their circumstances changed, it turned out they really didn’t believe at all.”

Yet, as Pastor Ortberg will discuss in the next blog, people who walk through God’s open doors need not be spiritual giants, possessing a faith we never could possibly reach.  For example, God chose to work with Abraham because Abraham was willing to trust Him.  It wasn’t based on Abraham’s ability to do the right thing.

Today’s question: Following your vocation loss, how has God used you in spite of your imperfections?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The object of our faith”

Truths about myself

Godly counsel

Today Charles Stanley concludes his presentation of four ways to seek God’s guidance, know Him better, and become who He created us to be.

3.  Through circumstances.  Dr. Stanley exhorts us to keep this important principle foremost in our hearts: “The Lord is with each one of His children every single moment of the day.”  God doesn’t just show up in emergencies.  He is guiding the circumstances of our lives every second of the day.  The Father employs every event of our life for our benefit.

Life circumstances are of extreme importance.  If we are intentional in paying close attention to what the Father is doing through those circumstances, we will learn a great deal about His will for our life.

4.  Through godly counsel.  Dr. Stanley draws an important distinction here.  He is not describing someone who simply will give us advice or will tell us what they would do in our situation.  Dr. Stanley is referring to someone clearly submitted to the Father- a Christian with a clear understanding of how to listen to God and who cultivates a strong relationship with Him.

A godly counselor guides us to the truth, even if that truth is uncomfortable or painful.  We need godly counsel to guide us in understanding the Lord’s will on our own, not someone to take over and direct us.  As Dr. Stanley concludes, the question isn’t, “What do you think I ought to do?”  The question is, “What does God’s Word say about my situation?”

Today’s question: Who can provide godly counsel as you revision and revitalize your vocation?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “God-given aspirations”

Godly counsel

Insight and patience

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”- Proverbs 19:11

As Sara Horn continues Chapter 6 of How Can I Possibly Forgive?, she pauses to unpack Proverbs 19:11.  She believes there are great truths in this Scripture that we can apply when we desire to let go of our hurts.

1.  Insight.  Insight develops patience.  Patience, in turn, gives us the ability to overlook things normally offensive to us.  Sara stresses that merely having insight won’t prevent us from being hurt.  We must be firmly grounded in God’s Word so that we’re prepared and ready to deal with the hurts that inevitably come.  When we apply God’s truth that is in our hearts, we are able to more quickly let go of those hurts.

2.  Patience.  The practice of patience enables us to understand that people aren’t perfect.  They are flawed human beings, just like we are.  As Sara notes, patience helps us stop holding on to thing that aren’t ours to hold on to in the first place:

“This is where patience comes in.  When we lower our expectations of people and increase our trust in God, we worry less about what people do and more about what God wants us to do and how he wants us to respond in every situation.”

3.  Overlook the offense.  Being offended by others is not a new problem.  And we’re said hurtful things to others.  We need to stop taking things so personally.

Today’s question: Following your vocation loss, what offenses have been most difficult to overlook?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Three practical steps”

Insight and patience