Buyer"s remorse

“[Teddy Roosevelt] danced, just as you’d expect him to dance if you knew him.  He hopped.”- Doris Kearns Goodwin, The Bully Pulpit 

As John Ortberg continues Chapter 6 of All the Places to Go, he writes that hopping is something we do with our whole selves.  Even adults hop in moments of great joy.  Pastor Ortberg exhorts us:

“If you’re going through an open door, don’t limp across the threshold.  Hop.”

However, a major reason for our failure to go through open doors in a wholehearted manner is buyer’s remorse- because making key spiritual decisions requires high effort, high responsibility, and high commitment.  While having second thoughts is an inescapable part of walking through open doors, it s neither fatal nor final.  It is important that we recognize that apprehension is part of making difficult decisions and that “having peace about it” is not the ultimate criterion for going through open doors.

Often we excuse our capitulation to fear or laziness with what John describes as one of the worst, over-spiritualized traps: “I just don’t feel peace about it.”  Pastor Ortberg notes that the sequence we see in the Bible is quite different: calling, abject terror, decision to obey, big problems, more terror, second thoughts, repeat several times, deeper faith.

We need to go through open doors with all our heart.  We need to hop.

Today’s question: How often have you demonstrated buyer’s remorse by second-guessing your decisions?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Discerning wholeheartedness”

 

 

Buyer"s remorse

Crossing a threshold

“It’s better to go through the wrong door with your best self than the best door with your wrong self.”- John Ortberg

In Chapter 6 (“How to Cross a Threshold”) of All the Places to Go, John Ortberg observes that it’s good for us to choose our doors carefully.  But when we decide to go- go!  Although we’re not in charge of which doors God will present to us throughout our lives or what is behind any door, we are in charge of one dynamic- how we will respond when a door is opened.

Pastor Ortberg notes that once we make our door choice, often we’re tempted to obsess whether or not we chose the right door.  To compound the problem, this often happens when such obsession is least helpful- when we’re frustrated or depressed with our chosen door.  We falsely compare the best imagined aspect of Choice B with the worst case scenario of Choice A.

We need to recognize that there is no script for how things would have gone with Plan B or how things will go with Plan A.  Stewing over our decision robs us (a) of the ability to see the small doors God sets before us each day and (b) of the spiritual qualities we need to find life with God in the present moment.

John concludes that when we’re crossing a threshold, we must throw ourselves into this new open-door season “with great enthusiasm and prayer and hope and energy.”

Today’s question: How often have you found yourself stewing about your choice after crossing a threshold?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Buyer’s remorse”

Crossing a threshold

The ultimate door

“That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and knowledge of God’s mystery, which is in Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”- Colossians 2:2-3

John Ortberg concludes Chapter 5 of All the Places to Go with the eighth way God’s wisdom can lead us to, and help us through, open doors we encounter.

8.  The ultimate door.  Pastor Ortberg writes that Biblical wisdom literature recognizes that wise human decisions have limits.  In the Bible wisdom is much more than life management.

The apostle Paul uses images in Colossians 2:2-3 that describe wisdom in the Old Testament.  Paul then applies these images to Jesus.  Wisdom has come down to earth.  At Jesus’ time, the Israelites knew their problem was Rome.  According to their limited human thinking, they had three options:

1.  Door #1- overthrow the Romans in hatred (Zealots)

2.  Door #2-withdraw in contempt (Essenes)

3.  Door #3- collaborate with the Romans (Sadducees)

Jesus saw an alternative, sacrificial love and resurrection power- the ultimate door, as John describes:

“Wisdom, thank God, is far more than common sense and practical advice and navigating life safely and well.  Wisdom bets it all on God, dies on a cross, and gets resurrected on the third day.  Wisdom is alive today and can walk with me through the doors I face.”

Today’s question:  How have you grown in wisdom following your vocation loss?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Crossing a threshold”

The ultimate door

Failure tolerance

Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken.  At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose.  The jailer work up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped.  But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself!  We are all here!”- Acts 16:26-28

In today’s blog, John Ortberg discusses the seventh way God’s wisdom can lead us to/through open doors.

7.  Test, experiment, and learn failure tolerance.  Pastor Ortberg states that while God does have guidance for a particular decision, He doesn’t have guidance for every decision.  And sometimes God’s guidance is not so much about what He wants to do through us as what He wants to do in us.

John observes that discerning open doors does not equate with guaranteed success.  When God called Jeremiah (the weeping prophet) and John the Baptist to walk through open doors, those open doors led to enormous difficulty, not external reward.

We learn through failure.  Courage and risk-taking are not developed through failure avoidance.  In Acts 16, Paul’s clarity on his life’s purpose enabled him to open spiritual doors for others, as John states:

“Paul chooses the greater door, even when it looks like failure.”

Today’s question: Has failure avoidance been an issue for you following your vocation loss?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The ultimate door”

Failure tolerance

Why am I still here?

“The way of a fool is right in  his own eyes. but a wise man listens to advice.”- Proverbs 12:15

John Ortberg continues his discussion of ways (five and six) God’s wisdom can lead us to and help us through open doors we encounter.

5.  Pray the Lloyd’s Prayer.  Pastor Ortberg states that things happen when we begin to lay our problems out before the Lord.  When an elderly shoe salesman named Lloyd suffered a serious heart attack, doctors told him he should have died.  That prompted Lloyd to pray the question. “Why am I still here?”

The author notes that the truth of the kingdom of God is written on our hearts.  We were made for the open door.

6.  Ask some wise people to help you.  John writes that “everybody needs a door-selection committee.”  We all need wise counsel, because there’s a fool inside each one of us.  As the life of King Solomon testifies, the battle for wisdom is unending.

Left to our own devices, we tend to miss doors because (a) we fail to consider the full range of options God has before us or (b) we suffer from confirmation bias-seeking information that confirms our opinion rather than looking for the unvarnished truth.

We need to associate with Christians who love and care for us, are trustworthy, and exhibit good judgment.

Today’s question: How would you answer Lloyd’s prayer question- Why am I still here?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Failure tolerance”

 

Why am I still here?

What"s your problem?

“Having fewer problems is not living.  It’s dying.”- Ichak Adizes

Today John Ortberg discusses the fourth way God’s wisdom can lead us to, as well as help us through, open doors we encounter.

4.  What’s your problem?  Pastor Ortberg observes that each of us will be defined by our biggest problem: “Your identity is defined by the problem you embrace.”

John adds that what we need is a God-sized problem, because when God calls people He calls them to face a problem.  However, there is a standard word for the condition of truly being problem-free.  That word is dead.

When John asks the question, “What’s your problem?” he really means, “Do you have a problem worth of your best energies, worthy of your life?”  The author states that we don’t grow by avoiding problems.  The real sign of growth is our ability to handle larger and more interesting problems.

Followers of Jesus purposefully embrace problems.  It’s part of discerning what God’s will is for our lives.  Pastor Ortberg notes:

“Very often a sense of calling comes when people begin to pay attention to what moves their hearts.”

For Moses, it was Pharaoh’s oppression and enslavement of the Israelites.  For David, it was Goliath’s taunts.  There are many broken walls in this world.  Which one is breaking your heart?

Today’s question: What is your response to the opening quote by Ichak Adizes?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Why am I still here?”

What"s your problem?

The right course of action

“Whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all.”- Galatians 6:10 (NRSV)

“Never try to choose the right course of action in the wrong frame of mind.”- John Ortberg

John Ortberg continues his discussion of some ways God’s wisdom can lead us to, as well as help us through, open doors we encounter.

2.  Practice on small doors.  Pastor Ortberg cautions us not to wait to ask for wisdom until we’re facing a major decision.  Practicing on small doors develops our ability to choose wisely when big decisions come.  Plus, small door opportunities are everywhere.  John concludes:

“Choosing doors always involves a process: I recognize opportunity, identify options, evaluate, choose, and learn.”

3.  Allow time and energy for big decisions.  Pastor Ortberg states that one reason why “finding God’s will for my life” is so problematic is that we’re overwhelmed by the many choices we must make:

“We think having more choices means more freedom, and more freedom means better living.  But having too many choices does not produce liberation, it produces paralysis.”

Open door people seek simplicity in their lives so that their finite supply of willpower is saved for the most important decisions.  John adds that wise people shepherd their choosing energy well and never make important decisions unless they’re experiencing “the peace of God, which transcends all[human] understanding.”- Philippians 4:7

Today’s question: How have you increased your awareness of small door opportunities?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “What’s your problem?”

 

The right course of action