Pride is blinding

In Chapter 3 of The End of Me, Kyle Idleman concludes his description of six verbal symptoms of a prideful heart.

You may be a Pharisee if . . .

6.  you catch yourself saying, “It’s not me; it’s you.”  Although this seems like the mirror image of a famous breakup line, the reference here is to the ability of the Pharisee’s twenty-twenty vision to detect the flaws of others.  The Bible, however, points out that pride is blinding.  Kyle wryly observes:

“You can’t see the pride in your life because of . . . well, because of the pride in your life.”

Recently, while Kyle was driving his kids to school, his son asked: “Dad, why do you always talk to the other drivers?  You know they can’t hear you.”  Pastor Idleman quickly realized he was a Pharisee on wheels.  His car has big windows showing every car but his own- and a tiny little mirror that shows him.

Other Pharisee indicators include celebrating someone else’s failures, obsessing over the opinions of others, and being utterly convinced that your opinion is the only one that is correct.  Pride, the author stresses, is “the ultimate issue of the human condition”- the mother of all sin.  The Pharisee keeps getting in because we feed our internal Pharisee and we let him/her grow.

Next, Kyle takes a look at what makes our inner Pharisee so powerful.

Today’s question (From Kyle): In what ways have you caught yourself behaving like a Pharisee?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Humblebrag”

Pride is blinding

You may be a Pharisee if . . .

In Chapter 3 of The End of Me, Kyle Idleman describes six verbal symptoms of a prideful heart.  The first two symptoms are discussed today.

You may be a Pharisee if . . .

1.  you catch yourself saying, “You aren’t going to talk like that to me!”  When pride takes over, we become defensive.  We’re unwilling to listen to criticism or correction.  It’s like undiplomatic immunity.  A prideful attitude also assumes a hierarchy in which we outrank the other person.

Pastor Idleman adds we might be thinking no one is offering us advice because they can’t find anything to criticize.  The truth may be closer to this: no one is offering us advice because they know it won’t go well if they try.

2.  you catch yourself saying, “I’m not going to be the one to apologize.”  Kyle cautions that the proud are magnetically attracted to conflict.  Solomon wrote in Proverbs 13:10: “Pride only leads to arguments.”  Squabbles can become epic because apologizing requires humility.

Forgiveness brings on the agony of defeat.  Proud people obsess about being undefeated in arguments and love to wait out the worst disagreements.  They may hold out for decades hoping everything blows over.  In the unlikely event a proud person apologizes, he/she will qualify that apology: “I’m sorry- but . . .”  And that type of apology never seems to work.

Today’s question: Have you ever dug in your heels and refused to apologize?  What was the result of your decision?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Define fair”

You may be a Pharisee if . . .

Your internal Pharisee

“God, I thank you that I am not like other people- robbers, evildoers, adulterers- or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I have.”- Luke 18:11-12

Kyle Idleman continues Chapter 3 of The End of Me with a discussion of The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14).  Pastor Idleman states people looked up to Pharisees because they were committed to Hebrew law and were likely to be upstanding, educated, and influential.  Although the Pharisees began with good intentions, eventually their faith became defined by an “unbearable, infinite collection of dos and don’ts, mostly don’ts.”

Luke clues us in that Jesus’ audience consisted of people  “who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else” (v.9).  Kyle observes that when we read such a description, we almost immediately assume Jesus is talking to someone else.  However, as soon as we assign negative descriptors to others, we become the very people Jesus is addressing.

The issue in this parable is pride versus humility.  Pastor Idleman explains:

“Fake humility expresses itself in a pride that is obvious to everyone but the speaker. . . . Ultimately our words betray us, no matter how much we guard them.”

In the next several blogs Kyle discusses six verbal symptoms of a prideful heart that indicate an internal Pharisee is about to flow out of our mouths.

Today’s question: How has your internal Pharisee been displayed following your vocation loss?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “You may be a Pharisee if . . .”

Your internal Pharisee