Three inner needs

Purple amethyst geode

“God created . . . each of us with three inner needs- needs for love, significance, and security.”- June Hunt

In Chapter 13 (“The Power of the Empty Bag- Fringe Benefits of Forgiveness”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt writes that only God can completely satisfy our three inner needs.  When we are able to recognize our inability to fully satisfy our needs, we can wisely accept God’s perfect provision.  Only God’s perfect provision will bring us God’s perfect peace.

Ms. Hunt tells us that geodes are magnificent crystals capable of forming inside any cavity beneath the earth’s surface.  While the exterior simply looks like a dull, rough rock, a slow and steady dripping of minerals inside one of those cavities, over time, becomes a sea of sparkling quartz.  June describes what it is like to harbor, then release, unforgiveness:

“When you harbor unforgiveness within you, it’s like shutting out the dripping of minerals that can create beautiful quartz crystals.  But when you release your unforgiveness to God and begin to pray for your offender, an amazing transformation occurs- God begins to produce shining character traits in you.”

Because forgiveness is powerful, purposeful, and pervasive, June discusses five benefits we experience when we forgive.  The first is presented today.

1.  Forgiveness leads to better health.  June states  she is amazed how many Christians compare forgiveness to being force-fed a dose of bad-tasting medicine, say castor oil.  Yet, unforgiveness can have profoundly negative effects on the way your body functions.  Forgiveness truly is the perfect prescription for wellness, enabling you to seize God’s gift of abundant life.  Brenda Goodman wrote in Psychology Today:

“If physical exercise had a mental equivalent, it would probably be the process of forgiveness.”

Today’s question: How have you been able to release your unforgiveness to God and satisfy your three inner needs?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “A change of heart”

 

 

Three inner needs

Your most powerful weapon

“Truth is your most powerful weapon.  Pick it up and use it.”- June Hunt

June Hunt concludes Chapter 12 of How to Forgive by discussing the final three letters of her acrostic (F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N) for dealing positively and effectively with guilt.

Verify truth when Satan accuses.  Ms. Hunt states you can count on Satan accusing you.  Accusation is Satan’s favorite weapon.  You must counter Satan by taking hold of truth.  Just as Jesus (in the desert) responded to Satan with the Word of God, you must respond with God’s Word whenever you are tempted to believe God’s forgiveness doesn’t apply to you.

Exchange your life for the life of Christ.  We need to accept the truth that none of us have the strength to live the Christian life without Christ living in us (Galatians 2:20).  June notes that your part is “to let go of your life in exchange for living in the power of His.”

Notice that God brings your feelings in line with the facts when you obey Him.  June describes how perseverance pays off:

“Perseverance in spite of what you feel pays off.  Forgiving others and forgiving yourself- even when you don’t feel like it- guarantees freedom.”

June informs us that the opal is prized for its array of colors inside a single stone.  Yet, an opal is fragile.  It easily can dry out and crack.  Overall, an opal is considered weak.

Ms. Hunt observes that you feel fundamentally weak when you compromise your convictions.  You may feel unworthy of love or unfit to embrace God’s grace.  June explains how light shines brighter in darkness:

“As any jeweler knows, the opal[s beauty is best displayed when placed on a dark background.  When you release your painful rocks to the Master Polisher, a black background will make you shine even brighter.”

Today’s question: Which letters of Ms. Hunt’s acrostic struck a chord with you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Three inner needs”

Your most powerful weapon

Too good to be true?

“If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”- Old adage

June Hunt continues her discussion of the acrostic F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N in Chapter 12 of How to Forgive.

Realize that God means what He says.  Ms. Hunt states that “God’s grace is free- and enough.”  But, she adds, that doesn’t mean God’s forgiveness is accepted.  Jaded adults can be suspicious of something “too good to be true.”  June states suffering from prolonged guilt is a sign you haven’t learned to take God at His word.  June encourages you to:

“Choose to believe what God says.  Thank Him for the gift of His Son, who paid for your forgiveness.  Do both, even if you don’t feel forgiven.”

Give up dwelling on the past.  Ms. Hunt emphatically states that yes, God’s forgiveness is too good.  But it’s true!  By clinging to the past and refusing to forgive yourself, you are playing God with your guilt.  You are claiming the right to undo the forgiveness Christ has extended to you.

Invest time in renewing your mind.  June reminds us that the only time we have is the present moment.  The past we feel so guilty about is gone.  The future we worry about is always out of reach. To forgive ourselves, we must be intentional in actively affirming what we know to be true about God’s grace.  In Ephesians 4:22-23 St. Paul reminds us:

“Put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds.”

Today’s question: How hard was it to give up dwelling on the past.  What helped you change your perspective?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Your most powerful weapon”

Too good to be true?

Forgiving ourselves

In Chapter 12 (“Buried Under Rocks of Regret- When the Person You Need to Forgive is You”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt states that, surprisingly, forgiving ourselves is not always easy to do.  It may even be more difficult than forgiving others.

Ms. Hunt uses the powerful acrostic F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N to help you deal positively and effectively with y0ur guilt- in the process allowing God to fully apply His completed work of redemption.  “F” and “O” are covered today.

Find the source of your guilt.  True guilt is our friend and a spiritual signal something is wrong, as Ms. Hunt explains:

“True guilt is a spiritual warning.  It tells us our sins are veiling who we are, children of God, and what we’re called to do, reflect His image (emphasis June’s).”

While true guilt is based on specific sinful actions, false guilt causes a deep sense of unworthiness.  We perceive ourselves as basically defective and can’t stop blaming ourselves.  False built is toxic.  God’s purpose for guilt is for correction and building up.  God’s purpose is not to destroy your heart or cripple your soul and spirit.

Own responsibility for your sin.  Once you’ve identified the source of your guilt, the next step is to repent and confess the offense.  In Why Forgive?, Johann Christoph Arnold wrote that “guilt works in secret, and it loses its power only when it is allowed out into the open.”

June adds that if guilt feelings persist after you have confessed your sins to God and accepted His forgiveness, it could be that you need to repair the damage caused by your offense in order to be completely free.

Today’s question: Has “forgiving ourselves” been a personal issue for you following your vocation loss?  What has  helped you deal positively and effectively with your guilt?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Too good to be true”

Forgiving ourselves

The faith factor

As June Hunt concludes Chapter 11 of How to Forgive, she discusses the faith factor as it relates to dealing with suffering.  Ms. Hunt states that whether we succeed in turning blame and bitterness into healing and hope “depends on our willingness to exercise our faith in God, to trust Him, even when we must draw upon every ounce of energy and hold on to the thinnest of threads.”

June notes that sometimes we need to take the apostle Paul’s comforting words of Romans 8:28 by faith:

“We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

It is possible we may never understand God’s higher purpose for our suffering or get to see our pain bear fruit.  As the author points out, that’s easy enough to say when you’re at a safe difference from suffering.  In other words, it’s easier to recite Romans 8:28 than to apply it.

Ms. Hunt emphasizes the importance of our attitude toward God when we’re in the midst of suffering:

“Blaming God for our suffering looks back and focuses on our pain.  Trusting God looks forward and focuses on His plan.”

Diamonds, the hardest know natural substance in the world, take years of intense pressure and high temperatures for the carbon to transform itself into a beautiful, valued gem.  Similarly, the Master Jeweler preplanned how He will use the heat and pressure of injustice in your life- unless the rugged rocks of resentment in your heart interfere with His handiwork, stalling the process of transformation.  June adds:

“As you dig deep to remove those rocks and hand them to the Redeemer, He will cut and craft them into dazzling diamonds.  They then become a shining testimony of His purpose through pain- no longer do they remain diamonds in the rough.”

Today’s question: How does the faith factor support your response to the pain and suffering of your vocation loss?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Forgiving ourselves”

The faith factor

Holding God responsible

“Holding God responsible for our pain is as unproductive as it is unwise.”- June Hunt

June Hunt begins Chapter 11 (“Blindsided by a God-sized Boulder: ‘Oh God, How Could You Do This?’ “) of How to Forgive by noting that the vast majority of wounded people don’t allow their bitterness to consume them.  However, many people are deeply embittered.  They harbor sustained anger toward God.  This anger is fed by the belief that God could have or should have shielded them from devastating adversity.

In subtle or overt ways, wounded people are holding God responsible.  As Ms. Hunt notes, to view God as cruel and unjust “drains our lives of hope and leads to deep despair.”  June adds that the main reason we think this way is rooted in misunderstanding the purpose of life.

Our contemporary culture is one of comfort and a sense of entitlement.  We believe happy, healthy, prosperous, and cushy lives are our birthright.  While it is not inherently wrong to live that way, the problem arises when comfort becomes the ultimate goal of our existence.  C. S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity that comfort never was meant to be our purpose:

“Comfort is one thing you cannot get by looking for it.  If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will get neither comfort or truth- only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.”

Although researchers have discovered that “pain is the gift no one wants, pain is a vial to recovering from our wounds as well as avoiding worse ones.  If pain didn’t really hurt, we’d simply ignore its message and miss its refining effect.  In other words, pain has a higher purpose.

Suffering never is in vain.  It produces endurance, character, hope, and love (Romans 5:35).  Even the smallest step away from resentment is a step toward God’s freedom.

Today’s question: Have you ever found yourself holding God responsible for your vocation loss?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The faith factor”

Holding God responsible

Prayer redirects our hearts

“Prayer redirects our hearts- we focus on the need instead of the fault.”- June Hunt

“Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”- Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)

In Chapter 10 (“Breaking the Power of Your Pelter- Praying for Those Who Pelt You”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt states that the Greek word agape, translated “love” in Matthew 5:44, intrinsically means “a commitment to seek the highest good of another person.” Ms. Hunt defines what it means to pray for our offender’s highest good:

“We pray not that the Lord will prosper that person, but that He will cause growth and maturity.  We pray that whatever prompted our enemy to harm us- pride, arrogance, selfishness, deceit- will be addressed by God in His way and in His time.”

June compares our enemies to geodes- rough and rugged on the outside with no apparent beauty, yet containing beautiful crystals on the inside.  God knows the potential that lies within our enemies.  Over time, something extraordinary may be created.  Ms. Hunt goes on to discuss two benefits of praying for our enemies:

1.  Prayer insulates us from bitterness.  June states that when you consistently pray for your offender’s spiritual growth, change occurs within your heart.  Praying for someone consistently provides an added benefit- you develop compassion for that person.  Ms. Hunt explains:

“Through prayer, the Holy Spirit softens the hardened pieces of our hearts, hatred is turned to love, the bitter is turned to sweet.  We begin to see our enemies through God’s eyes.”

2.  Prayer allows us to be controlled by the Spirit, not the offender.  By refusing to pray for our enemy, we give power to that person.  The offender continues to control what we do.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can experience tremendous freedom when Christ controls our thoughts and actions.

Today’s question: How might June’s statement that “prayer redirects our hearts” transform your view of your wounders?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Holding God responsible”

Prayer redirects our hearts

Forgiveness is not enablement

June Hunt concludes Chapter 9 of How to Forgive by focusing on three points illustrating that forgiveness is not enablement.  Ms. Hunt stresses that there isn’t anything noble or godly about giving irresponsible people additional opportunities to take advantage of you.  Furthermore, God assuredly doesn’t want you to facilitate others’ irresponsible behaviors.

1.  Enablement means putting yourself in a position of being offended again and again.  Forgiving the person who hurt you is one thing.  Subjecting yourself to further harm is another.

2.  Enabling never helps offenders change but further ingrains their bad habits.  As June notes, enabling “only perpetuates a destructive pattern of pummeling.”  If you overtly or implicitly indicate it is okay for your offender to continue his/her inappropriate behavior, you are giving permission for the offender to repeat wrongdoing.

3.  Enablers are classic people pleasers who don’t know when they should say no.  When you say ‘yes’ to irresponsible people when you should be saying ‘no’, in reality your are actually saying no to Christ.  In Galatians 2:10, the apostle Paul said, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

When you are an enabler, it is quite possible you subvert God’s will for your life as well as the life of your offender.  June adds:

“God never expects us to put ourselves in harm’s way when someone who hurts us shows no remorse.”

Even if your offender refuses to forgive, your bag still can be boulder-free!

Today’s question: How has Ms. Hunt enabled you to realize that forgiveness is not enablement?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Prayer redirects our hearts”

 

Forgiveness is not enablement

Reconciliation roadmap

As June Hunt continues Chapter 9 of How to Forgive, she offers a reconciliation roadmap telling us what will be required for the journey as well as what healthy, appropriate reconciliation looks like.  Ms. Hunt lists four provisions the offended need for the trip.

1.  Genuine forgiveness.  Ms. Hunt states reconciliation never will be successful unless your bag of bitterness has been thoroughly emptied.  In other words, you have finished the process of complete forgiveness.  Counselor Robert Enright describes why wholehearted forgiveness is necessary to support real reconciliation:

“Reconciliation without forgiveness is often no more than an armed truce in which each side patrols the demilitarized zone looking for incursions (a hostile entrance into a territory) by the other and waiting to resume hostilities.”

2.  Humility.  June writes that “righteous indignation” (aka ‘pride’) thwarts reconciliation.  Any attempt to think of yourself as better than your wounder or offender is counterproductive.  Ms. Hunt reminds us: “Even the most hurtful offenders are still just people who have, themselves, been hurt.”

3.  A willingness to risk.  Reconciliation takes the courage to be vulnerable, within reason.  Setting boundaries is different from closing off the border with an emotional iron curtain.  Reconciliation needs room to breathe and grow.  In The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis wrote:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable . . . . The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

4.  Truth and love.  June notes that we are called by our God to be “speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).”  Love offers acceptance and mercy to the offender.  Truth boldly faces reality and calls wrong wrong.  As Ms. Hunt explains next, forgiveness does not equal enablement- implicitly condoning sin.  Yet, this confusion is a sticking point for many people.

Today’s question: Which provisions on June’s reconciliation roadmap are most meaningful to you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Forgiveness is not enablement”

Reconciliation roadmap

Forgiveness vs. reconciliation

In Chapter 9 (“Steering Clear of Stone-Throwers: Forgiveness Is One Thing, Reconciliation Is Another”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt explores the topic of forgiveness vs. reconciliation.  Ms. Hunt states that reconciliation after an offense is the ideal goal to strive for.  However, the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation are numerous.  Of the seven differences June describes, three caught my attention:

• Forgiveness is a decision to release the person who has harmed you; reconciliation is an effort to rejoin the person who harmed you.


• Forgiveness involves a change in thinking about the offender; reconciliation involves a change in behavior by the offender.


• Forgiveness is unconditional regardless of a lack of repentance; reconciliation is conditional based on repentance.

Ms. Hunt emphasizes that restored trust is the essential element in reconciliation.  Developing trust with another person takes time, even under the best of circumstances.  Therefore, it’s much more difficult to rebuild trust after that trust has been shattered!

When considering restoring a relationship, the use of common sense is essential to protect ourselves.  June cites Lord of the Rings author J. R. R. Tolkien:

“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”

Ms. Hunt likens our not-so-beautiful thoughts toward those who have hurt us to the six-rayed pattern of the star sapphire.  That “asterism” distinguishes the star sapphire from all other gems.  It is second in hardness to diamonds.  June describes how God can create a stunning new asterism in your thinking:

” . . . you are to master your thoughts . . . with the help of the Master Engraver.  When you give Him your rocks of resentment, you allow Him to create a stunning new six-ray pattern. . . . This new pattern will display to all something more marvelous than the asterism atop the esteemed  star sapphire- a reflection of the mind of Christ.”

Today’s question: How has June clarified you understanding of forgiveness vs. reconciliation?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: Reconciliation roadmap”

Forgiveness vs. reconciliation

Thanks be to God

Hib and Judy Wiedenkeller- 50th Anniversary

“O death, where is your victory?  O death, where is your sting?  The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”- 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

“I’m not interested in having an orchestra sound like itself.  I want it to sound like the composer.”- Leonard Bernstein

In the mid-1980s, when Hales Corners Lutheran Church worshipped at the Grange campus, music director Hib Wiedenkeller established a tradition of alternately presenting the Christmas and Easter portions of the Messiah, complete with orchestra.  As the rehearsal pianist and performance harpsichordist, it was my responsibility to plunk out particularly problematic parts, play the piano score in rehearsal, and use the harpsichord in concert to maintain Hib’s set tempo for the orchestra .  However, there was one complication- my natural tendency to increase the tempo in direct proportion to my excitement.  Practices often were preceded by a smiling, gentle reminder from Hib to play Handel’s Messiah, not my “interpretation.”

Trying to have the harpsichord sound like myself would create musical chaos.  Max Lucado writes in A Gentle Thunder that emotion without knowledge is equally as dangerous as knowledge without emotion.  Knowing how to read the notes must be balanced with communicating the composer’s intent.  Pastor Lucado explains how this applies to our Christian walk:

“We Christians are prone to follow the book while ignoring the music.  We master the doctrine, outline the chapters . . . and stiffly step out on the dance floor of life with no music in our hearts.”

During the desert, land between transitional period following our ministry downsizing or vocation loss, our desire to set the tempo is inversely proportional to our perception of God’s inactivity and silence.  Yet, as Max points out, if we have ever been comforted or God has brought us peace when the world has brought us pain, we have heard the music.  Just as Jesus cry of “It is finished!” was no cry of defeat, neither is coming to the end of ourselves.  We have heard the music.  Pastor Lucado offers these encouraging words:

“A cry of defeat?  Hardly.  Had his (Jesus’) hand not been fastened down I dare say that a triumphant fist would have punched the dark sky.  No, this is no cry of despair.  It is a cry of completion.  A cry of victory.  A cry of fulfillment.  Yes, even a cry of relief.”

Thanks be to God!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfIr9hGQFSA

 

 

 

 

Thanks be to God

Prerequisites for restored relationships

Today June Hunt discusses the prerequisites for restored relationships as part of the fourth stage of forgiveness.

Stage Four: Find Oneness.  In his book A Minute of Margin, author and physician Richard Swenson said:

“It is not revenge that heals.  It is not litigation, or time, or distance that heals.  It is forgiveness and- when possible- reconciliation that bring wholeness.”

Ms. Hunt adds that restoration of a damaged relationship can occur when both parties commit to honesty in the relationship.  June uses the acrostic H-O-N-E-S-T-Y to demonstrate the elements involved in this process:

Honestly evaluate yourself and your relationship.  By evaluation your own weaknesses as well as the weaknesses in your relationship, you will identify where change needs to take place.

Open your heart and share your pain.  Candidly address the offense and fully explain to your wounder how the wounding made you feel.

Notice whether your offender takes responsibility.  If your offender ignores the arrow in your heart and refuses to be accountable, he/she is not ready for reconciliation.  Your offender must demonstrate godly sorrow for your inflicted pain.

Expect your offender to be completely truthful.  Discern whether your offender is sincere and truthful.  Establish safeguards regarding honesty, support, and loyalty within your relationship.

Set appropriate boundaries for the relationship.  You need to be disciplined enough to hold your offender accountable for respecting relationship boundaries.  Your offender must be disciplined enough to stop crossing those established boundaries.

Take time, cautiously think, and sincerely pray before you let your offender all the way back into your heart.  Trust is earned, not given.  Your offender must demonstrate integrity and consistency.

Yield your heart to starting over.  June succinctly states: “You are no longer bound by what has been, but by what can be.”

Today’s question: Which of the prerequisites for restored relationships are most meaningful to you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: the Easter Short Meditation, “Thanks be to God”

Prerequisites for restored relationships

To err is human

“To err is human, to blame it on someone else is more human.”- Unknown

June Hunt continues her presentation (Chapter 8, How to Forgive) of the four stages of forgiveness by discussing stages two and three.

Stage Two: Feel the Offense.  We may respond to unjust treatment with anger, outrage or even hatred.  Ms. Hunt explains why it is necessary for us to honestly deal with our emotions:

“All our rock-hard emotions need to be excavated rather than allowed to stay buried.  Failing to acknowledge and experience pain results in rigid responses: suppression of feelings or outright denial. . . . Without feeling, there can be no healing.”

Stage Three: Forgive the Offender.  June observes that it is much easier to nurture resentment than deal with forgiveness.  Although the first two stages have laid the groundwork for this third stage, people come up with all kinds of arguments to avoid taking this next step of forgiveness.  June presents five:

a.  “I shouldn’t forgive when I don’t feel like forgiving.  It wouldn’t be genuine.”  Ms. Hunt responds that Jesus surely knew if everyone waited until they felt like forgiving, few would ever get around to doing so.

b.  “I can forgive everyone else, but God knows I don’t have the power to forgive one particular person.”  June emphasizes that the issue is how strong God’s power is within you, not your lack of power to forgive.

c.   “Forgiveness doesn’t seem fair. She ought to pay for her wrong!  She can’t get off scot-free!”  Ms. Hunt responds that it is not our role to determine how our wounder should be punished.  God knows how to deal fairly with each person.  He will do so in His time and in His way.

d.  “I have forgiven, but it doesn’t do any good.  He keeps doing the same thing over and over.”  While we can’t control what others do, we can control our response to what others do.  That doesn’t mean, however, that we allow ourselves to be trampled like doormats.

e.  “I cannot forgive and forget.  I keep thinking about being hurt.”  Forgiving doesn’t give you a case of “holy amnesia.”  However, you can close your mind to rehearsing the pain of the past offense.

Today’s question: Which of the five arguments June  presents resonate most with you?  Please share.

SPECIAL NOTE:  Please check out the artist’s comments to the Short Meditation, “Like little children”

Tomorrow’s blog: “Prerequisites for restored relationships”

To err is human

Poisonous rocks of resentment

“There is a remedy for the poisonous rocks of resentment in our lives.  This healing remedy involves the four stages of forgiveness- stages that banish bitterness- with all its toxic effects- once and for all.”- June Hunt

As June Hunt continues Chapter 8 of How to Forgive, she states that cobalt can become a lustrous hard metal with many applications.  However, its most beautiful application is the pigment cobalt blue- used for coloring enamel, glass, tile, and porcelain.  A small amount of cobalt is part of Vitamin B12.  But too much in your system is toxic to the lungs and heart.

Ms. Hunt explains that unforgiveness, like cobalt, can be just as emotionally and spiritually fatal:

“Rather than allowing the venom of vindictiveness to harm you, you can allow the Master Physician to bring a healing you could never imagine . . . and a hope you couldn’t have on your own.  When you give your poisonous rocks to Him, He will heal you with His extraordinary love.  He will free you to have His extraordinary forgiveness, and your toxic unforgiveness will be gone.”

The new freedom you gain is the greatest payoff to working through the four stages of forgiveness.  June begins with the first stage.

Stage One: Face the Offense.  June explains why this first step- accurately seeing the offense for what it is- is the hardest:

“Before extending complete forgiveness, you must acknowledge the gravity of the offense and the magnitude of the problem- plus the pain it created.  You have to face the truth and sift through all the resulting heartaches.”  June continues. “Rarely is the full impact of mistreatment felt at the moment it occurs.  Rather, its aftermath is experienced at different levels over a period of time.”

Ms. Hunt adds that forgiveness must be extended at those different levels of impact.  The offense must not be rationalized, minimized, or excused.

Today’s question: Have you rationalized, minimized, or excused the conduct of those responsible for your ministry downsizing or vocation loss?  Please share.

Coming Monday: the new Short Meditation, “Thanks be to God”

Tomorrow’s blog: “To err is human”

 

 

Poisonous rocks of resentment

Real forgiveness

“When the offense is severe, forgiveness does not happen easily.  Real forgiveness is a slow, difficult, painful process.”- June Hunt

In Chapter 8 (“Rocks Aren’t Removed Overnight- The Four Stages of Forgiveness”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt states that while forgiveness ultimately is freeing, typically forgiveness is not fast.  Boulders of bitterness cannot be simply tossed aside, as if they were small pebbles.  Ms. Hunt explains the consequences of taking shortcuts to forgiveness:

” . . . the pain and anguish you’re experiencing is perfectly normal, even healthy.  When people take shortcuts through the forgiveness process, they are merely putting Band-Aids on deep wounds.  It doesn’t work, and real healing never happens.  Deep wounds must heal from the inside out.”

June notes that because the pain of rejection runs deep, you must realize that rejection is just one step away from resentment.  Resentment, then, is the result of an unforgiving heart.  While you may feel like a forgotten cobblestone on the river bed of life, be assured that God hasn’t forgotten you.  June encourages us that whenever the pain of unforgiveness burdens you:

” . . . give those stones of hostility- those stones of scorn- to the Master Paver.  Amazing benefits await you.  When in His hands, He knows what to do with them and where to put them.  He puts them in the right places on His path . . . so that each and every painful experience has eternal purpose.”

June states you will find it helpful to work through a four-stage process of forgiveness.  Each progression is a series of decisions with actions that build on each other.  In the next blog, June will begin by explaining the necessity of ridding yourself of the toxicity of unforgiveness.

Today’s question: How is it helpful to understand real forgiveness as a process or progression rather than as an instantaneous fix?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Poisonous rocks of resentment”

Real forgiveness

Wounds from a friend

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”- Proverbs 27:6

Today June Hunt concludes her discussion of seven strategies you can use to retrain your brain to forgive.

5.  Practice forgiving the daily wrongs.  Ms. Hunt points out that our daily lives are filled with routine affronts.  If we are unable to forgive the small stuff, it is unlikely we will forgive the big stuff- and vice versa.

But God’s forgiveness has nothing to do with the offense.  God’s forgiveness has everything to do with Him.  God forgives because He is a forgiving God.  Jesus means forgiveness to be your way of life.  Forgiveness isn’t just reserved for extraordinary times.

6.  Surround yourself with supportive people who tell you the truth.  June states that, following a wounding, it is natural to seek out people who will apply the “salve of sympathy.”  However, the healing medicine of a listening ear can turn into a rehashing of the painful events and/or a bashing of the offender(s).  Ms. Hunt explains what we truly need:

“What we need are friends who help us rethink our thoughts- friends who challenge us to not stay in the rut of unforgiveness, friends who will counsel us to forgive even when we don’t feel like it.”

7.  Turn thought into action.  June boldly asserts that while it is easy to say you have forgiven your offender, the proof lies in what you are willing to do about it.  Ms. Hunt suggests that once you’ve retrained your brain and opted to forgive, give the offender a gift.

Counselor Robert Enright explains that “by giving a gift to the one who hurt us, we break the power that person has over us.”  Gift-giving does not reward the guilty.  It helps us adopt the heart and mind of Jesus.

Today’s question: Which of June’s seven steps or strategies do you need to implement?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Real forgiveness”

Wounds from a friend

Use your power tools

Today June Hunt continues her presentation of seven strategies we can use to train our brain to forgive (Chapter 7, How to Forgive) by discussing how to use your power tools of thanksgiving and praise.

3.  Use you power tools: thanksgiving and praise.  June encourages you to being your mornings by expressing gratitude for God’s many gifts or for certain people He’s brought into your life.  In his book Our Heavenly Father, Dr. Robert Frost describes what can keep you from being offended at God for the adversity He allows in your life:

“There is nothing more precious to God than our praise during affliction. . . . What he does not protect us from, he will perfect us through.  There is indeed a special blessing for those who do not become offended at God during adversity.”

Ms. Hunt observes it is impossible to perpetually view yourself as a victim or dwell on “an eye for an eye” justice when you are intentional about thanking God for the blessings in your life.

4.  Pray for your enemies.  During the times you struggle to pray for those who wounded or offended you, it is important to realize that your enemies aren’t spiritually healthy.  If they were spiritually healthy, they would not have hurt you.  June points out the benefits of praying for our offenders:

“Praying for others helps us to see them as God sees them.  It paves the way to forgive as God forgives.  Praying for your enemies enables you to more easily take them off your hook and place them onto God’s hook.”

Today’s question: What has been an encouragement to you to use your power tools of thanksgiving and praise?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Wounds from a friend”

 

Use your power tools

A great and difficult task

“When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself.”- Isak Dinesen

When June Hunt teaches on forgiveness, she often issues this directive: “If you have never ever prayed the Lord’s Prayer please raise your hand.”  Ms. Hunt reports that she has yet to see a hand go up.

Specifically referencing the words “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” June asks you to consider this: Did you really mean it?  Think about it.

If you really mean those words, you are asking God to forgive you just as you have forgiven those who wounded you.  June observes that if you’re like everyone else, essentially your first thought is God forbid (emphasis author’s)!

When a wound is deep and the offense great, complete forgiveness can only be a process.  Ms. Hunt offers seven strategies to help you win that race one step at a time.  The first two strategies are discussed today.

1.  Acknowledge your thoughts, then give them to God.  June underscores the fact that it is impossible to never think about an emotional rock that “wounds you, steals your security, and breaks your heart.”  The key to successfully dealing with such bruising boulders isn’t forgetting your thoughts, but consciously refusing to dwell on them.

2.  Meditate on God’s Word and speak it aloud.  Unwanted thoughts that are turned away must be replaced by something else.  June states Jeremiah 23:29 is a graphic illustration of the power God’s Word has to literally destroy our rocks of resentment:

“Is not my [the Lord’s] word . . . like a hammer that breaks a rock into pieces?”

Ms. Hunt encourages you to reach for your Bible and repeatedly absorb the truths of God.  She states the bottom line: “God’s Word heals our hearts!”

Today’s question: How does acknowledging that forgiveness is a great and difficult task help you begin the process?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Use your power tools”

A great and difficult task

Gravitating to negativity

As June Hunt continues Chapter 7 of How to Forgive, she notes that because negative thoughts are a natural response to someone wounding us, often we aren’t aware our minds are gravitating to negativity.  Ms. Hunt states the first step to gaining control over negative thoughts is noticing where they habitually take us.  June describes three mental habits that can trap you.

1.  You continually relive the offense.  You replay the offense in your mind over and over- in slow motion and high definition!  June explains:

“We dwell on every detail; we inspect every stone of strife; we scrutinize every rock of cruelty; we even probe every pebble of apathy.”

Continually refreshing our wounding makes forgiving difficult.

2.  You imagine getting revenge.  Fantasizing ways to get back at those who hurt you may become a dark pleasure.  June notes that a team of psychologists who studied revenge discovered that fantasies of revenge inspire anger.  Anger, in turn, makes us feel more powerful.  Our self-esteem appears to rise as we lower the esteem in which we hold our offender.  It’s merely a mirage.

3.  You want bad things to befall your offender.  Even if you don’t go so far as to exact revenge on your wounder, an unforgiving heart resents any success experienced by the offender and delights in any failure.  But Proverbs 24:17 tells us:

“Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice.”

When a catastrophic crisis hits, it feels like a massive meteorite has crashed down on us.  We ask God why He would allow this to happen or why He didn’t protect us.  Under such pressure, our faith can crumble or collapse- or it can grow strong and secure as we trust in God.  June encourages:

” . . . you need to rest that crushing meteorite before the throne of God, along with all your questions and megapain.  Only then will you experience His megapeace; only then will you feel His megacomfort.”

Today’s question: Following your vocation loss, have you found your mid gravitating to negativity?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “A great and difficult task”

 

Gravitating to negativity

Master of your mind

“Our understanding of forgiveness must begin with this truth: By God’s design, you are the master of your mind.”- June Hunt

“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”- 2 Corinthians 10:5

In Chapter 7 (“Cutting the Bottom Out of the Bag- Resentful Thoughts Released, Not Rehearsed”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt notes that we all start at the same place on the road to forgiveness: in heavy pain (emphasis author’s ).  Ms. Hunt adds that “we all think the journey is too long, up a mountain too high, with a backpack too big.”

But we don’t face the task of forgiveness alone.  God doesn’t demand we forgive and then leave us struggling to find the strength to do so.  June reminds us that forgiveness isn’t a feeling.  Forgiveness is a purposeful choice.  To release our resentment against our offenders, we have to change how we think.

This is not an easy task.  How we think about forgiveness is deeply ingrained within us, as June describes:

“Our thoughts are like covered wagons that have traveled the same road over and over across the prairie of our minds, leaving deep ruts .  Changing course is hard and it takes deliberate efforts and repetition to make it happen.”

June observes that our thoughts can be constructive or destructive.  Perhaps the most ironic thought, however, is that we have no control over our thoughts.  The apostle Paul encourages us to “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.”  As Ms. Hunt emphasizes, you are in charge of what you think.  Indeed, “you are the master of your mind.”

Today’s question: What has helped you affirm that you are the master of your mind?  Please share.

tomorrow’s blog: “Gravitating to negativity”

Master of your mind

Three powerful truths

June Hunt concludes Chapter 6 of How to Forgive by discussing three powerful truths Joseph knew that enabled him to entrust himself to God and master his thoughts.

1.  Joseph knew God is sovereign.  Ms. Hunt states Joseph accepted the fact that his life belonged to God.  Therefore, nothing could happen to him apart from God’s will.  June points out that when we truly believe this, there can be no real injustice:

“When we fully accept that God is sovereign, then no matter where we are or what happens to us along the way, we will have an attitude of forgiveness toward those who cause us pain.  We will see them as instruments in God’s hand to achieve His purposes.”

2.  Joseph knew that within God’s will, suffering has a purpose.  Joseph told his brothers that it was God who sent him to Egypt, not them.  If we believe “all things work together for good,.” we will have a forgiving attitude because we won’t see our suffering as pointless.

3.  Joseph knew that God delights in turning evil into good.  Joseph told his brothers that “you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20).”

Ms. Hunt emphasizes that belief undoubtedly sustained Joseph through his many excruciating years of injustice.  In the midst of pain, often you can see only the evil, not the good.  Yet, God is intervening in your life even though you perceive no evidence of His activity.

Today’s question: Which of these three powerful truths have been most difficult for you to accept?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Master of your mind”

Three powerful truths

Think like God thinks

                          Malachite Stone

“We renew our minds by learning to think like God thinks.”- June Hunt

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”- Romans 12:2 (NIV)

As June Hunt continues Chapter 6 of How to Forgive, she discusses the role thinking plays in forgiving.  Ms. Hunt emphasizes that God does not ask us to bury or stifle our pain.  He does, however, ask us to change how we think (emphasis author’s) about our offender(s).  She describes how God has give us a new way of thinking through reflection on Romans 8, verse 1:

“. . . how can we continue to condemn others, as if God’s grace had never been seen within Jesus and make alive by Jesus and come to us through Jesus?  We forgive not because it feels right, but because we doggedly decide to follow Christ’s example.  We forgive because we choose to, and we do it in the very midst of our pain.”

June notes that his is a daunting task requiring discipline and self-sacrifice.  Our pain has a purpose.  God is refining us.  Ms. Hunt states that malachite is a semiprecious stone prone to shattering under pressure.  Similarly, the pressure of painful offenses can make us feel emotionally fragile- on the verge of shattering.  This, in turn, fuels the heat of resentment.  June offers these words of encouragement:

“But when you give your resentful rocks to the Master Craftsman, He will transform every trial into a treasured opportunity to become more like Him and to display His heart to a world that has no hope.  Make not mistake, your pain has a purpose. . . . always intended to shape you, not to shatter you.”

Today’s question: What Bible verses have helped you think like God thinks about those who have hurt you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Three powerful truths”

 

 

 

 

Think like God thinks

Forgiveness is not a feeling

“Forgiveness is not a feeling.  Indeed, forgiveness is a purposeful decision- an act of the will not dependent on our emotions.”- June Hunt

In Chapter 6 (“Removing Hard Rocks of Resentment- Choosing Forgiveness Over Feelings”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt reminds us that we must forgive because God has forgiven us all the more (emphasis author’s).  This truth is profound and inescapable.

Ms. Hunt emphasizes that forgiveness is a purposeful decision because our emotions- powerful and persistent as they may be- are the least reliable measures of truth.  Feelings are influenced by numerous past and present conditions.  These conditions may have nothing to do with reality.

Forgiving another person doesn’t mean we have to ignore, hide, or bury our pain.  The painful emotions we experience are natural.  June states that, without injury by another person, Christlike forgiveness wouldn’t be necessary.  Ms. Hunt describes Christlike forgiveness:

“By sacrificing His life, Jesus displayed the truth that forgiveness is far more powerful than the most overwhelming pain. . . . By following Jesus’ example, we chose healing instead of hatred, and we refuse to drag around our bulging bag of bitterness.  And to possess this healing, we must face the pain, not deny or suppress it.”

June notes there is a distinct difference between being aware of our emotions and giving them control.  Feelings often fluctuate from one minute to the next.  Feelings are way too subjective for us to put our faith in them.  Forgiveness is too critical and central to a victorious Christian life to depend on emotions.  June reiterates that forgiveness is not a feeling:

“Forgiveness is a decisive act of the will- a fight for control of how we think.”

Today’s question: What Scriptures have helped you understand that forgiveness is not a feeling?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Think like God thinks”

Forgiveness is not a feeling

Forgiveness in the crucible

Today June Hunt puts the issue of forgiveness in the crucible (Chapter 5, How to Forgive) as she discusses the second most common rationale she’s heard that creates a barrier to forgiveness.  As Ms. Hunt describes it, putting the issue of forgiveness in the crucible is “where lofty thoughts meet the earthly reality of suffering.”

2.  “He doesn’t deserve it.”  June states that many people believe they either can’t or shouldn’t have to forgive an offender who shows no remorse or contrition.  Yet, because God’s grace is available to everyone, our willingness to forgive should not be selective or conditional.

The gift of forgiveness is not dependent on the offender’s willingness to receive it.  In fact, the offender may reject an offer of forgiveness because accepting that offer requires acknowledging the need for forgiveness!  The blessing of the gift is for the one forgiving.  We are empowered by Christ’s agape love to forgive those who have “plunged a knife in our heart or a spear in our side.”

Ms. Hunt notes that, just as someone who severely wounds us isn’t easily forgiven, massive blocks of marble needed by a sculptor aren’t easily removed.  It is a painstaking process.  But when we present the overbearing blocks weighing us down to the Master Sculptor, He creates an unexpected masterpiece, as June describes:

“He will carefully chisel away everything that does not conform you to the character of Christ.  By God’s grace and in His time, you will truly be able to forgive offenses even as large as a mammoth slab of marble.  He will hoist away the heaviest hurt- the burden you thought you would always bear, but will use the experience to mold you, to sculpt you into a masterpiece.”

Today’s question: Which of Ms. Hunt’s barriers to forgiveness has/have been most problematic for you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Forgiveness is not a feeling”

Forgiveness in the crucible

Like little children

And he said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”- Matthew 18:3

“Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”- Pablo Picasso

I completed my elementary/secondary student teaching practicum during the winter quarter of my senior year at Concordia Teachers College in River Forest, Illinois.  My elementary experience was with Diane Stuhlmacher’s first and second graders at Zion Lutheran School in Chicago.  Toward the end of my five week internship, Miss Stuhlmacher instructed each student to “secretly” draw a picture of me, often approaching their subject to take a closer look.  Completed impressions then were assembled into a class portfolio. It was presented to me on my last day with them.  While most drawings were typical of six and seven year olds, one picture stood out.  Georgette’s 7+ inch high figure didn’t miss a detail- from my brown hair and glasses to the distinctive pattern in my belt (my hands were behind my back).

Young children bring exuberance and a sense of wonder to learning.  John Ortberg (The Life You’ve Always Wanted) writes that preoccupation with self keeps adults from experiencing joy.  The minutes of life are divided into two categories: living and waiting to live.  We literally are killing time, unable to pour ourselves out for the joy of others or delighting in the infinite variety of small gifts God daily offers us.  Yet, the joy the happiest child shows is but a fraction of the joy that resides in God’s heart, as G. K. Chesterton speaks of in Orthodoxy:

“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged.  They always say ‘Do it again’; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead.  For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony.  But perhaps God is . . . . It is possible that God says every morning, ‘Do it again’ to the sun; and every evening, ‘Do it again’ to the moon.”

Compatibility with pain is one test of authentic joy. Worldly joy always is joy “in spite of” something. Theologian Karl Barth characterized joy as a “defiant nevertheless” slamming the door against bitterness and resentment.  It is an illusion to believe that joy will come someday when conditions change.  Today is the day to know joy. We, like little children, can be joy-carriers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJxmy9QvcbQ

 

 

 

Like little children

Barriers to forgiveness

As June Hunt continues Chapter 5 of How to Forgive, she lists some of the most common barriers to forgiveness.  Of the twelve barriers June lists, three caught my attention:

• believing that bitterness is a required response to betrayal– “God knows my feelings are normal”


• requiring an apology or show of repentance– “He shouldn’t be forgiven because he’s not really sorry”


• feeling a sense of power by hanging on to unforgiveness– “He needs to see how wrong he is”

Ms. Hunt states that these stones of animosity can block forgiveness and burden us down.  June adds that she has heard two additional rationales so often they warrant further explanation.  The firs rationale is discussed today.

1.  “It wouldn’t be fair.”  The issue of justice is at the heart of this statement.  It seems that our need for justice is so strong and natural, while the idea of forgiveness is so difficult and unnatural.  June believes there are three reasons for this:

a.  God has instilled within every heart a sense of right and wrong.  Because everyone has a God-given conscience, we feel a need for justice when someone mistreats us.

b.  Based on the law, forgiveness seems inappropriate.  While a black-and-white , law-and-order system seems controllable  and quantifiable, the very essence of Christianity is grace.  June adds that “individually we are to extend mercy.  We are to leave individual justice to God.”

c.  We feel outraged when justice is denied.  Everyone cries for justice- except the guilty person waiting to receive justice(emphasis author’s).  Ms. Hunt finds it ironic that we plead for justice when we have been wronged, yet plea for mercy when we’ve done wrong.  She states this double standard may be human nature, but it sabotages a forgiving spirit.

Today’s question: What stones of animosity have been barriers to forgiveness for you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: the new Short Meditation, “Like little children”

Barriers to forgiveness

The fruit of forgiveness

“The fruit of forgiveness is always peace. . . . When we forgive, we free ourselves every bit as much as those who have hurt us.”- June Hunt

Today, in Chapter 4 of How to Forgive, June Hunt concludes here discussion of five key factors we know about forgiveness- based on the example of Jesus.

3.  Forgiveness removes the conditions for grace.  When faced with a devastating situation, such as a ministry downsizing or vocation loss, it is common to struggle with drawing the line on forgiveness.  If we don’t draw the line somewhere, we feel we will be overwhelmed.  Who gets forgiven?  Who doesn’t?

We may believe God has set His standards too high, that we can’t live up to them.  Ms. Hunt emphasizes our quandary ends when we adopt a single standard- God’s unconditional love.  We are freed from the burden of judgment.  We become more like Christ.

4.  Forgiveness is a doorway to reconciliation.  It takes two to reconcile, so reconciliation isn’t always possible.  June states:

“Forgiveness is a doorway, but we do not always get to walk over its threshold.”

June adds that when extraordinary forgiveness is in our hearts, even the peace we think is most elusive is attainable- within reach.

5.  Forgiveness erases the debt.  Ms. Hunt truly believes that if Christians understood how much God loves them and how Christ has freed them (at the heart-and-soul level), everything about life would change for the better.  We would manifest the fruit of forgiveness.  June explains that our challenge is:

” . . . to try to grasp, with our finite minds and limited comprehension, the love God lavishes upon us.  If we could fully experience the magnitude of our forgiveness from God down deep at the very core of our being, we would more readily, even eagerly, grant forgiveness to others.”

Today’s question: Which of June’s five key factors of forgiveness resonate most with you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Barriers to forgiveness”

 

The fruit of forgiveness

Extraordinarily loved

“We can extraordinarily love because we are extraordinarily loved.  We can extraordinarily forgive because we are extraordinarily forgiven.”- June Hunt

June Hunt continues Chapter 4 of How to Forgive by looking at five key factors we know about forgiveness.  The first two factors will be discussed today.

1.  Forgiveness brings life, not death.  Christ brought forgiveness and freedom, the gift of grace.  Adherence to a strict code of sacrifices no longer was necessary.  Ms. Hunt cites D. L. Moody’s  distinction between law and grace:

“When Moses was in Egypt to punish Pharaoh, he turned the waters into blood.  When Christ was on earth he turned the water into wine.  That’s the difference between law and grace.  The law says, ‘Kill him’; grace says ‘Forgive him.’  Law says, ‘Condemn him; Grace says ‘Love him.’  . . . I would a thousand times rather be under grace than under the law.”

Before Christ, June points out, forgiveness was not permanent.  Blood sacrifices had to be repeated.  The forgiveness Christ gives to believers is free, complete, and irreversible.

2.  Forgiveness is ongoing and endless.  June emphasizes that God’s forgiveness has no timetable and no expiration date.  The timeless ingredients of God’s forgiveness are grace and love.  In Psalm 100:5 we read: “For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.”

Although many people place limits on how many times they will forgive someone, God’s willingness to forgive never ends.

Today’s question: What does it mean to you that your are extraordinarily loved and extraordinarily forgiven?  Please share.

Coming Monday: the new Short Meditation, “Like little children”

Tomorrow’s blog: “The fruit of forgiveness”

Extraordinarily loved

"Extraordinary forgiveness"

“To rational, logical minds, extraordinary forgiveness is shocking and, to some, even offensive.  It goes against all our instincts.”- June Hunt

As June Hunt continues Chapter 4 of How to Forgive, she notes that competition, not forgiveness, is pervasive in our culture.  Even those who believe in forgiveness attach all kinds of qualifiers- conditions (for bestowing forgiveness) of their own creation.

Our merciful God sent Jesus to be the sacrifice for our sins.  June explains a second purpose God had in sending Jesus to earth:

“Thankfully, the time Jesus lived on earth served another purpose as well: to provide a living, breathing example of what forgiveness looks like.  Everything He did and said was an attempt to explain it and exemplify it. . . . Jesus was always willing to forgive- always.  We rarely feel like forgiving.  We’re reluctant to forgive.  We struggle.  We clasp our fingers tightly around the tiniest pebble of offense.  But not Jesus.”

June believes that, without a proper understanding of God’s unconditional forgiveness, it’s nearly impossible to forgive someone who has deeply hurt us.  Ms. Hunt reminds us that God wants our specks of sand as well.

The author explains that aggregates, like sandy gravel and crushed stone, add strength to whatever substance in which they are mixed- like cement.  But specks of sand have no purpose if they’re in your eyes or shoes.  Forgiveness must be complete:

“We are called to forgive as we have been forgiven- completely.  Not a speck of spite remaining.  When you give your miniscule grudges to God, the Master Builder, He will mix your painful experiences into His master plan to construct the path that  is right for you.  Realize that even specks of sand can accumulate and make for a heavy load- even specks we don’t think are important.”

Today’s question: What has helped you grasp the extraordinary forgiveness of God?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Extraordinarily loved”

"Extraordinary forgiveness"

Perceptions of God"s nature and character

In Chapter 4 (“What Father Gives His Child a Stone”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt cites a study done at Baylor University about ten years ago.  The study included a Gallup survey that identified four distinct perceptions of God’s nature and character.  The findings were as follows:

• Authoritarian God (31.4%)- those who believe in a God “who is angry at humanity’s sins”


• Distant God (24.4%)- those who believe in a God who is more “a cosmic force that launched the world then left it spinning on it’s own”


• Critical God (16%)- those who believe in a God who “has his judgmental eye on the world”


• Benevolent God (23%)- those who believe God is forgiving and accepting when someone repents

Ms. Hunt observes that nearly three-fourths of those surveyed had a negative view of God, while less than one-fourth viewed God as loving, accepting, and forgiving.  In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus compares the goodness of an earthly Father to the goodness of our heavenly Father:

“Which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone. . . . If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him?”- Matthew 7:9-11 (ESV)

Of the many things we need, June asks, what do we need more than forgiveness- especially from God?  From our human point of view, God’s forgiveness makes no sense because it cannot be bought, sold, or rationed.  There is no scientific formula to determine when to apply God’s forgiveness or determine to whom it should be applied.  Ms. Hunt concludes:

“Let’s be honest: God’s forgiveness is so far-reaching and all-encompassing that it’s incomprehensible . . . inexplicable . . . inconceivable.”

Today’s question: What are your perceptions of God’s nature and His character?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Extraordinary forgiveness”

Perceptions of God"s nature and character

Learning to forgive

“Learning to forgive someone who has wronged us is nothing short of learning to think and act like God.”- June Hunt

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.”- Romans 12:7

June Hunt concludes Chapter 3 of How to Forgive by discussing what forgiveness is.  Ms. Hunt states that the New Testament word for forgiveness, aphesis, means “pardon, cancellation of an obligation, punishment or guilt.”  An offense that is not forgiven, in contrast, is an unpaid debt- and even a spiritual debt- between two people.  Unforgiveness binds the two together.  Neither one is free from the debt.

June writes that as we forgive, one offense at a time, our hearts begin to resemble God’s heart.  Ms. Hunt adds that the New Testament Greek verb, aphiemi primarily means “to send away.”  That means when we forgive, we send away, or release, the debt owed when another person wrongs us.  June explains:

“This implies that you need to release your right to hear ‘I’m sorry’, to release your right to be bitter, to release your right to get even. . . . This means to release your right to dwell on the offense, to release your right to hold on to the offense, to release your right to keep bringing up the offense.”

Proverbs 17:9- “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

Today’s question: What Scriptures have enabled you to release your right for justice and fairness, to begin the process of learning to forgive?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Perceptions of God’s nature and character”

Learning to forgive