Drawn into His love

“I imagine God is please when we allow the foolish things of this world to confound our wisdom- when we allow ourselves to be drawn into His love in the most peculiar ways.”- Matt Bays

Matt Bays begins Chapter 10 (“Me Encanta- The Love of God”) of Finding God in the Ruins by observing there are heavenly moments when everything aligns and we have no trouble sensing the presence of God.  So when pain comes, we may be too eager to punctuate our pain with an exclamation point-before that exclamation point belongs there.

Instead, we must understand our pain- be comfortable enough to put an ellipsis where an ellipsis belongs.  In The Circle Maker, Mark Batterson describes an ellipsis as a time of waiting during which we feel God is answering everyone else’s prayers but ours.  Pastor Bays offers his perspective on unredeemed pain and how we are drawn into His love:

“But for those things that have been left unredeemed, pain can be a lifetime mortgage. . . . Yet it will not be all that is me.  It does not complete me.  While it remains, God also will remain.  And I will find him in the ruins, among three thorns and three prayers for their removal.  He will provide his copathy and care. . . and laughter and love- especially love.”

Matt adds that at times it feels like God has invited himself into our pain, when what we really had been looking for was a invitation into God’s healing.  While we desire a God who heals our wounds, Matt states that “it seems we have a God who heals our hearts.”

Today’s question (from Matt): What does the phrase “sometimes it feels like God has invited himself into my pain, when I had hope to be invited into his healing” mean to you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The untold story”

 

Drawn into His love

Holding God responsible

“Holding God responsible for our pain is as unproductive as it is unwise.”- June Hunt

June Hunt begins Chapter 11 (“Blindsided by a God-sized Boulder: ‘Oh God, How Could You Do This?’ “) of How to Forgive by noting that the vast majority of wounded people don’t allow their bitterness to consume them.  However, many people are deeply embittered.  They harbor sustained anger toward God.  This anger is fed by the belief that God could have or should have shielded them from devastating adversity.

In subtle or overt ways, wounded people are holding God responsible.  As Ms. Hunt notes, to view God as cruel and unjust “drains our lives of hope and leads to deep despair.”  June adds that the main reason we think this way is rooted in misunderstanding the purpose of life.

Our contemporary culture is one of comfort and a sense of entitlement.  We believe happy, healthy, prosperous, and cushy lives are our birthright.  While it is not inherently wrong to live that way, the problem arises when comfort becomes the ultimate goal of our existence.  C. S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity that comfort never was meant to be our purpose:

“Comfort is one thing you cannot get by looking for it.  If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will get neither comfort or truth- only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.”

Although researchers have discovered that “pain is the gift no one wants, pain is a vial to recovering from our wounds as well as avoiding worse ones.  If pain didn’t really hurt, we’d simply ignore its message and miss its refining effect.  In other words, pain has a higher purpose.

Suffering never is in vain.  It produces endurance, character, hope, and love (Romans 5:35).  Even the smallest step away from resentment is a step toward God’s freedom.

Today’s question: Have you ever found yourself holding God responsible for your vocation loss?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The faith factor”

Holding God responsible

To err is human

“To err is human, to blame it on someone else is more human.”- Unknown

June Hunt continues her presentation (Chapter 8, How to Forgive) of the four stages of forgiveness by discussing stages two and three.

Stage Two: Feel the Offense.  We may respond to unjust treatment with anger, outrage or even hatred.  Ms. Hunt explains why it is necessary for us to honestly deal with our emotions:

“All our rock-hard emotions need to be excavated rather than allowed to stay buried.  Failing to acknowledge and experience pain results in rigid responses: suppression of feelings or outright denial. . . . Without feeling, there can be no healing.”

Stage Three: Forgive the Offender.  June observes that it is much easier to nurture resentment than deal with forgiveness.  Although the first two stages have laid the groundwork for this third stage, people come up with all kinds of arguments to avoid taking this next step of forgiveness.  June presents five:

a.  “I shouldn’t forgive when I don’t feel like forgiving.  It wouldn’t be genuine.”  Ms. Hunt responds that Jesus surely knew if everyone waited until they felt like forgiving, few would ever get around to doing so.

b.  “I can forgive everyone else, but God knows I don’t have the power to forgive one particular person.”  June emphasizes that the issue is how strong God’s power is within you, not your lack of power to forgive.

c.   “Forgiveness doesn’t seem fair. She ought to pay for her wrong!  She can’t get off scot-free!”  Ms. Hunt responds that it is not our role to determine how our wounder should be punished.  God knows how to deal fairly with each person.  He will do so in His time and in His way.

d.  “I have forgiven, but it doesn’t do any good.  He keeps doing the same thing over and over.”  While we can’t control what others do, we can control our response to what others do.  That doesn’t mean, however, that we allow ourselves to be trampled like doormats.

e.  “I cannot forgive and forget.  I keep thinking about being hurt.”  Forgiving doesn’t give you a case of “holy amnesia.”  However, you can close your mind to rehearsing the pain of the past offense.

Today’s question: Which of the five arguments June  presents resonate most with you?  Please share.

SPECIAL NOTE:  Please check out the artist’s comments to the Short Meditation, “Like little children”

Tomorrow’s blog: “Prerequisites for restored relationships”

To err is human

Forgiveness is not a feeling

“Forgiveness is not a feeling.  Indeed, forgiveness is a purposeful decision- an act of the will not dependent on our emotions.”- June Hunt

In Chapter 6 (“Removing Hard Rocks of Resentment- Choosing Forgiveness Over Feelings”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt reminds us that we must forgive because God has forgiven us all the more (emphasis author’s).  This truth is profound and inescapable.

Ms. Hunt emphasizes that forgiveness is a purposeful decision because our emotions- powerful and persistent as they may be- are the least reliable measures of truth.  Feelings are influenced by numerous past and present conditions.  These conditions may have nothing to do with reality.

Forgiving another person doesn’t mean we have to ignore, hide, or bury our pain.  The painful emotions we experience are natural.  June states that, without injury by another person, Christlike forgiveness wouldn’t be necessary.  Ms. Hunt describes Christlike forgiveness:

“By sacrificing His life, Jesus displayed the truth that forgiveness is far more powerful than the most overwhelming pain. . . . By following Jesus’ example, we chose healing instead of hatred, and we refuse to drag around our bulging bag of bitterness.  And to possess this healing, we must face the pain, not deny or suppress it.”

June notes there is a distinct difference between being aware of our emotions and giving them control.  Feelings often fluctuate from one minute to the next.  Feelings are way too subjective for us to put our faith in them.  Forgiveness is too critical and central to a victorious Christian life to depend on emotions.  June reiterates that forgiveness is not a feeling:

“Forgiveness is a decisive act of the will- a fight for control of how we think.”

Today’s question: What Scriptures have helped you understand that forgiveness is not a feeling?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Think like God thinks”

Forgiveness is not a feeling