Invisible scars

In Chapter 4 (“The Thing About Scars”) of How Can I Possibly Forgive?, Sara Horn states that most people who have physical scars have stories to go with them.  However, not all scars can be seen by our eyes.

Invisible scars are deep wounds that remain with us and take a long time to heal.  Even after they heal, invisible scars are almost impossible to forget.  Sara emphasizes that if those invisible scars aren’t given more time to properly heal, we may add several more scars of our own doing.  Scars from the deep hurt of great loss, such as the loss of ministry or vocation, don’t always cover up what hurt us in the first place.

That’s why, Sara adds, when we talk about forgiveness we must deal with the really hard stuff that is extremely hard to forgive, let go, or even think about and discuss.  These invisible scars don’t just play a part in our past, but affect our future as well.

Sara points out that one fact about a scar is that even if we change our environment, situation, or circumstances, we still may feel the same way as when we first received the scar.  Jesus is the only one who will ever fully understand our hurts.  As we turn to Him for help, He enables us to forgive and let go.

Today’s question: What Scriptures have been foundational in the process of your healing?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Healing is a process”

Invisible scars

Letting go of bitterness

Following Chapter 3 of How Can I Possibly Forgive?, Sara Horn discusses five ways to start letting go of bitterness right now.

1.  Tell God how you’re feeling.  When we keep ignoring the hard feelings about our vocation loss, they build up and grow bigger.  Sara stresses that we need to make time to talk to God about how we’re feeling and ask for help letting go of the bitterness.

2.  Recognize the importance of second chances.  In the Parable of the Prodigal Son, the elder brother is a prime example of someone holding on to bitterness.  He is unable to see past what he perceives is an unfair situation.  When we find ourselves unable to see past the unfairness, we need to start counting our blessings.

3.  Admit the sin you’re dealing with.  Sara states that bitterness often masks or is symptomatic of other sins in our life.  When we own up to what is imprisoning us, we open the door for God to work in us and change us.

4.  Stop dwelling on what happened and repeating your story.  Fixating on what happened seldom is a healthy approach, especially if our friends are more enablers than encouragers.

5.  Rethink your thinking.  Bitter attitudes and negative thoughts are meant for each other.  Negative thoughts can be around for so long that we don’t even realize it.  We must be intentional in reshaping and turning our thoughts to what God wants us thinking about (Philippians 4:8).

Today’s question: Which way(s) of letting go of bitterness resonate most with you?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Invisible scars”

Letting go of bitterness

Big Hurts- Bigger God

“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”- Hebrews 12:15

As Sara Horn concludes Chapter 3 of How Can I Possibly Forgive?, she notes that Abraham had a heart change in his relationship with Lot.  Previously, when in Egypt, Abraham had lied to Pharaoh about Sarah being his sister- when in fact she was his wife.  Yet in the problems he faced with Lot, Abraham chose generosity and selflessness.  He trusted God to take care of him.

Sara emphasizes that it is only when we listen to God’s voice that we’ll find relief from the things that hold us back from forgiving or giving.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we must be willing to trust God enough to surrender our will to His.

Sara tells the story of a friend who prayed for the opportunity to be a mom.  Eventually the friend and her husband adopted a little boy from Russia.  They eagerly anticipated all the normal childhood milestones.  Then the little boy was diagnosed with a severe form of autism, and the parents realized those dreams were not to be.  Their desires got traded for God’s desires.  Big hurts- bigger God.  Sara concludes:

“But God is bigger than those hurts, and stronger, and able to take your hurt and do something beautiful with it.  He heals.”

Today’s question: How have you been intentional in giving over your hurts to God?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Letting go of bitterness”

 

Big Hurts- Bigger God

Seasons of rumble

In Chapter 3 (“In Seasons of Rumble”) of How Can I Possibly Forgive?, author Sara Horn notes that when rainstorms occur in Louisiana, the rumble of thunder miles away can go on and on for a long time.  While the rumble of thunder is subdued, you definitely know it is there.  The sound keeps going, with no indication of when it will stop.

There are seasons of rumble in life where we also live with that thunderous rumble, such as the aftermath of our ministry downsizing or vocation loss.  We are uncomfortable and out of sorts because we have no idea how to let the pain go.  Bitterness may set in.

Sara observes that when we see ourselves in the crosshairs of an undeserved target, our emotions can rapidly move from sadness to resentment and from denial to anger.  We may blame others or even take out our frustration on God.  The problem with bitterness, unfortunately, is that bitterness is difficult to hide.  As Sara explains, eventually we expose ourselves.  Our soul feelings emerge.

We are easily changed by the circumstances and challenges of our seasons of rumble.  At some point, however, we can’t take any more of that constant rumble and recognize that something has to change.  We have been holding onto something we shouldn’t ever have picked up.  A heart change is needed.

Today’s question: Have you reached the point in your thunderous rumble where you are ready to commit to change?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Big Hurts- Bigger God”

Seasons of rumble

Ready to be offered

“We cannot see God’s plan when we can see only our pain.”- Sara Horn

Sara Horn concludes Chapter 2 of How Can I Possibly Forgive? by stating that when Joseph chose to let go of the difficult circumstances that brought him to Egypt, he was able to see God’s plan.  Joseph grabbed on and trusted God with everything he had.

When we are intentional in our focus on what God wants with us and how He wants to use us, we don’t worry so much about what offends us or how small slights or hurtful words affect us.  Oswald Chambers writes in My Utmost for His Highest about painting a picture of ourselves on the altar, which means:

” . . . burning and purification and insulation for one purpose only, the destruction of every affinity that God has not started and of every attachment that is not an attachment in God.  You do not destroy it, God does. . . . After this way of fire, there is nothing that oppresses or depresses.  When the crisis arises you realize things cannot touch you as they used to do.”

As we come to believe this and trust that God has us in His hand and is with us, we can wake up each day “ready to be offered.”

Today’s question: What defines your thinking at this time, God’s plan or your plan?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Seasons of rumble”

Ready to be offered

Forgiveness

“So no one stayed withy him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers.  And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it.”- Genesis 45:1-2

In Chapter 2 of How Can I Possibly Forgive?, Sara Horn notes that the Bible is replete with examples of resentment.  While the good news is that we’re not alone in our grudges, the bad news is that grudges and resentment are easy to grow.

Sara states that the Old Testament account of Joseph is one example where we might view resentment as a well-deserved response.  Yet, because Joseph chose to trust God, the Lord was with Joseph.  Joseph’s story, Sara adds, is about more than God’s purpose for our lives, an example of God’s plan versus our plan, or an example of calling over comfort.

One of the greatest truths in Joseph’s story is forgiveness.  When Joseph reveals himself to his brothers, he doesn’t come off as the brother who still got everything he wanted.  He faced his brothers and cried so loudly that everyone in the house heard him.  Sara describes Joseph’s crying as “the sweet, heartbreaking sound of forgiveness, that cry of grace and reconciliation and humility and love all rolled into one.”

Early on, Sara concludes, Joseph decided to trust god rather than men and to let God take care of the battles that really mattered.

Today’s question: At this point in your desert, transformational journey, where is forgiveness most needed in your life?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Ready to be offered”

Forgiveness

We all, like sheep

“We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. “- Isaiah 53:6 (NIV)

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”- Henry David Thoreau

During my pre-downsizing, elementary teaching days at Ebenezer and Northwest Lutheran Schools in Milwaukee, no respectable Mr. Henning classroom was complete without he requisite class pet- typically a golden hamster.  One year my choice of living environment was a plastic mansion, complete with tubes and assorted attachments, including a penthouse sleeping area.  Not content with living in the lap of hamster luxury, our hamster chewed his way to “freedom.”  Reasoning that, sooner or later, hunger would override adventure, I strategically placed cups of food around the school.  When the class hamster took the bait several days later, he was embraced (aka ‘captured’) by his benefactor and returned to the classroom fold.

Jeff Manion describes the Land Between as a metaphor for the undesired transitions we experience in life, a middle ground where we can be transformed and established in our connection to God.  Discouragement comes with the territory, as Pastor Manion explains:

“Traveling through the Land Between, we often have to battle discouragement.  Sometimes deep discouragement.  The wilderness is a place where even the most hopeful must fend off feelings of impatience, futility, or despair.”

The issue isn’t that we have those feelings, but what we do once we have acknowledged them.  While we may not have control over our circumstances, we do have control over our reactions.  We will choose something: our way- depression, seething rage, revenge, retail therapy- or God’s way.

During this transitional time, we need to recognize that our souls are very vulnerable and that there is a fine line between honesty and complaint.  While complaint is turning away from God, candidly pouring out our heart to God is turning toward God.  Jeff Manion expresses the honest cry of the overwhelmed: “I can’t take this anymore.  It’s too heavy for me.”

That’s precisely where we need to be.  As we trust God, we develop perseverance and our faith will grow.  Max Lucado offers these words of encouragement:

“Don’t see your struggle as an interruption to life, but as preparation for life.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNmWgQp1_iE

 

 

 

 

 

We all, like sheep